I hope everyone had a simply smashing long weekend and celebrated Martin Luther King Day by letting freedom ring or at the very least letting freedom whimper a little before you shooed it back under the mattress with a broomstick. Personally, I flew to a third world country (Friday), enslaved an indigenous race of brown people (Saturday), wrote a flowery proclamation setting them free (Sunday) and then threw myself a little holiday celebrating what a great humanitarian I am (Monday). So from now on, Martin Luther King Day will be celebrated as Brendo Is A Helluva Guy Day in Sierra Leone (or Papua New Guinea, I think - one of those).
Actually, I spent the bulk of my weekend at my high school band and chorus alumni concert. It was (as the idiots on the left coast say) hella weird being back on the auditorium stage on which I played in my first band, sang so many concerts, starred in so many plays and was roughly de-flowered by Joe Welsh.
For the alumni concert, I was supposed to split my time between the band percussion section and the baritone section of the choir. However, when I arrived at the chorus rehearsal I discovered that one of the pieces was a medley from the Broadway show Rent. I turned my firm apple bottom around and went right back to the band.
Have you heard the music from this fucking show? Personally, I find Broadway musicals to be the lowest form of human communication. And Rent is certainly the genre's nadir. After singing "rent rent rent rent rent" a few times, it makes one just a little glad, in the darkest part of one's brain, that Jonathan Larsen died of AIDS. I'm just being honest, friends.
So to prevent further emotional scarring, I scuffled back to the band percussion section and banged on a bass drum willy nilly. And those of you who aren't in the know - the percussion section are the "cool kids" in band. We just kind of chill in the back while you little flutes and clarinets get your little notes right. Call us when you're ready to make some noise.
That's right - banging a drum in a high school band made me feel cool. If you think that was sad to read, imagine living it.
Actually, I spent the bulk of my weekend at my high school band and chorus alumni concert. It was (as the idiots on the left coast say) hella weird being back on the auditorium stage on which I played in my first band, sang so many concerts, starred in so many plays and was roughly de-flowered by Joe Welsh.
For the alumni concert, I was supposed to split my time between the band percussion section and the baritone section of the choir. However, when I arrived at the chorus rehearsal I discovered that one of the pieces was a medley from the Broadway show Rent. I turned my firm apple bottom around and went right back to the band.
Have you heard the music from this fucking show? Personally, I find Broadway musicals to be the lowest form of human communication. And Rent is certainly the genre's nadir. After singing "rent rent rent rent rent" a few times, it makes one just a little glad, in the darkest part of one's brain, that Jonathan Larsen died of AIDS. I'm just being honest, friends.
So to prevent further emotional scarring, I scuffled back to the band percussion section and banged on a bass drum willy nilly. And those of you who aren't in the know - the percussion section are the "cool kids" in band. We just kind of chill in the back while you little flutes and clarinets get your little notes right. Call us when you're ready to make some noise.
That's right - banging a drum in a high school band made me feel cool. If you think that was sad to read, imagine living it.
6 Comments:
Yeeouch. You've set a new standard for controversial statements made on scampernet. Do we need a disclaimer that your views are not necessarily those of the band?
What's the matter, Nate? Satire on racial intolerance a little too hot for ya?
I had forgotten about the racial intolerance after I read the Jonathan Larsen line!
If we can't laugh at dead playwrights, at whom can we laugh? Wait'll you read the bit I've got planned about George Bernard Shaw. Very spicy.
oh man..i love you brendan..that was amazing..
by the by..even sadder than your drum comment..i played not only clarinet..but BASS clarinet and i think it's safe to say it's even sadder that i felt WAY cooler playing bass clarinet than just the plain ol' clarinet...yeah..i thought it was cool to play a bass instrument..what a loser i was..
Hey now, if playing bass clarinet isn’t cool then I just spent a whole lot of money on nothing! Brendo, I have to side with you on the Rent comment, that musical is one big crap sandwich just sitting on a stage.
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