I just can't manage to stay away from this journal even though I'm busy at work. You keep pulling me back in. I'm so dedicated to you people, dammit!
The other night, Joe and I were watching this show on the Discovery Channel called "The Deadliest Catch" about crab fishermen. It's an extremely dangerous (read: stupid) job and on this particular episode alone six dudes were killed on the job. Six. Dead guys. For crab.
In the course of watching the show, Joe pointed something out: hey fellas - they've got this product out called "imitation crab." It tastes pretty the same as real crab except, and here's the important part, no one dies. The crabs don't even die. Why are you risking your lives for crab, you bunch of fuck-tards? Lobster, maybe - but crab? Jebus.
Near the end of the show, a man was overboard and the captain was on the radio, talking to the coast guard. The coast guard asked, "Can we get a description of the man overboard?" Uh, yeah - well, he's this guy... and he's in the ocean. Does that pretty much narrow it down for you? Um, he's six foot drowning. Does that help? You coast-guard fuck-tard?
Okay, I'm completely spent on my "Deadliest Catch" material. You've been a lovely audience. Be sure to tip your waitress and try the crab. It's delicious and only 84 fuck-tards died bringing it to you.
The other night, Joe and I were watching this show on the Discovery Channel called "The Deadliest Catch" about crab fishermen. It's an extremely dangerous (read: stupid) job and on this particular episode alone six dudes were killed on the job. Six. Dead guys. For crab.
In the course of watching the show, Joe pointed something out: hey fellas - they've got this product out called "imitation crab." It tastes pretty the same as real crab except, and here's the important part, no one dies. The crabs don't even die. Why are you risking your lives for crab, you bunch of fuck-tards? Lobster, maybe - but crab? Jebus.
Near the end of the show, a man was overboard and the captain was on the radio, talking to the coast guard. The coast guard asked, "Can we get a description of the man overboard?" Uh, yeah - well, he's this guy... and he's in the ocean. Does that pretty much narrow it down for you? Um, he's six foot drowning. Does that help? You coast-guard fuck-tard?
Okay, I'm completely spent on my "Deadliest Catch" material. You've been a lovely audience. Be sure to tip your waitress and try the crab. It's delicious and only 84 fuck-tards died bringing it to you.
7 Comments:
Is "fucktards" really hyphenated?
Back in upstate NY we throw the word "botard" around. It rules.
English is an elastic language, you cock-fuck.
What's the derivation of botard?
The "botard" lineage is a bit wicked.
Literally, it is "BOCES retard".
BOCES ("bo-sees") being the upstate NY Board of Cooperative Educational Services, which ran speical ed classes in our school district.
Ha HA!
That would be similar to the votard, deriving from the South Shore Vocational Technical School in Hanover, MA.
We weren't smart enough to come up with that one at the time, so I'll retroactively work it in.
Stop making fun of retards, you bunch of turd-burglars.
Interestingly, ours would have been Assabet Valley Techincal Vocational High School. Which, I guess would have led to the term Asstard.
o man. i love you guys for giving me an actual definition to the word botard! thanks.. no i know what it actually means
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