A conversation between my mother and me this weekend:
Mom: So I went on your website yesterday. My God.
Me: What?
Mom: It just doesn't sound like my Brendan.
Me: What are you talking about?
Mom: It's so offensive.
Me: What's offensive about it?
Mom: Shooting cocaine into your penis?
Me: Actually, I think it was heroin.
Mom: Oh, that makes it much better.
Me: They're just jokes. No one takes it seriously.
Mom: I guess I don't get that sort of humor.
Me: Look, stop stifling my creativity.
Mom: I'm not stifling your creativity. I have a right to my opinion.
Me: Now, every time I have a good dick joke, I'm going to think twice about posting it because my mom is reading.
Mom: Well, maybe you should aim for a little more than dick jokes.
Me: Well, maybe you should suck my dick, Mom!
Okay, that last part didn't happen. But seriously, stop reading my journal, Mom. You're stanking up my mojo.
Mom: So I went on your website yesterday. My God.
Me: What?
Mom: It just doesn't sound like my Brendan.
Me: What are you talking about?
Mom: It's so offensive.
Me: What's offensive about it?
Mom: Shooting cocaine into your penis?
Me: Actually, I think it was heroin.
Mom: Oh, that makes it much better.
Me: They're just jokes. No one takes it seriously.
Mom: I guess I don't get that sort of humor.
Me: Look, stop stifling my creativity.
Mom: I'm not stifling your creativity. I have a right to my opinion.
Me: Now, every time I have a good dick joke, I'm going to think twice about posting it because my mom is reading.
Mom: Well, maybe you should aim for a little more than dick jokes.
Me: Well, maybe you should suck my dick, Mom!
Okay, that last part didn't happen. But seriously, stop reading my journal, Mom. You're stanking up my mojo.
4 Comments:
this made my morning...especially after i believe i may have failed my latest sociology exam..
your poor mother..ha
wait..i thought i was your mother
-stacy
No, you're actually my father. You impregnated my mother with your giant winky.
no..you're my father..
and i'm your mother..
oh..and i'm beginning to believe that i'm your mom..and here is why:
i found two..count em..TWO gray hairs today..what the fuck, people?!
>> Me: Well, maybe you should suck my dick, Mom!
This may be the most disturbing thing I've read in a while...
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