For my day job, I work in an environment in which there are a lot of college-age humans hanging around (some might even deign to refer to it as a "college"). As a result, I'm still lucky enough to encounter those annoying little quirks unique to college campuses. Specifically, buttons and ribbons and other such nonsense. Yesterday, I came back from lunch to find three co-workers leaving the building with big red buttons on their lapels.
"What's with the buttons?" I asked, handsomely.
"We're against violence," they responded, unironically.
"Wow. Are you sure you're ready to make such a bold, controversial stance?" I joked, wise-assedly.
When I was in college back in the early 1930's, things were no different - buttons and ribbons for every cause under the freakin' sun. A buddy of mine used to wear a ribbon on his jacket - when people asked him what it was for, he'd say "Ribbon awareness." They'd look at him, confused. He'd continue, "You know - to raise awareness for ribbons." Always a good larf.
One day my senior year, I walked into my dining hall to find balloons attached to half the chairs. A sign read "Each balloon represents someone who was sexually assaulted in the United States" or something like that. A sobering reminder of a serious problem, right?
Well, you would think so, but here was the problem: there were colorful balloons everywhere. It had the complete opposite of the intended effect on our moods - we were getting all giddy and silly. It was a fun and festive environment - so much so that when I arrived at my usual table, a friend flashed me a big smile and said "Happy Rape Day!"
C-c-college!
"What's with the buttons?" I asked, handsomely.
"We're against violence," they responded, unironically.
"Wow. Are you sure you're ready to make such a bold, controversial stance?" I joked, wise-assedly.
When I was in college back in the early 1930's, things were no different - buttons and ribbons for every cause under the freakin' sun. A buddy of mine used to wear a ribbon on his jacket - when people asked him what it was for, he'd say "Ribbon awareness." They'd look at him, confused. He'd continue, "You know - to raise awareness for ribbons." Always a good larf.
One day my senior year, I walked into my dining hall to find balloons attached to half the chairs. A sign read "Each balloon represents someone who was sexually assaulted in the United States" or something like that. A sobering reminder of a serious problem, right?
Well, you would think so, but here was the problem: there were colorful balloons everywhere. It had the complete opposite of the intended effect on our moods - we were getting all giddy and silly. It was a fun and festive environment - so much so that when I arrived at my usual table, a friend flashed me a big smile and said "Happy Rape Day!"
C-c-college!
11 Comments:
Now I'm not saying you should wear them onstage, but I still have my official Women's Forum 'Happy Rape Day!' and 'National Don't Beat the Taste Out Your Woman's Mouth Day' t-shirts. Sigh. I miss college, and that childlike sense that destroying peoples lives isn't morally neutral. Well, back to work...
A part of the story I forgot:
My roommate looked around and saw all the balloons and was stunned by the numbers. So much so that he tracked down the organizer of the event and asked, "Do these balloons include prison rape?"
"Yeah, I guess so," she responded.
My roommate looked around at the balloons and said, "Oh, okay." The answer strangely satisfied him.
He was a weird cat.
I don't know why that last one was anonymous. It's me, Brendan.
the cool thing now is not so much ribbons..but bumper stickers that LOOK like ribbons..
those things piss me off..
oh..and those lance armstrong rubber bracelet things that everything under the sun has chosen a color to represent their cause for...
Only 16% of rapes and sexual assaults are reported to the police (Rape in America: A Report to the Nation. 1992). In 1995 there were 97,460 rapes reported to law enforcement officials. At a 16% reporting rate, this means that there were actually closer to 649,733 rapes in the United States. Along the same lines, the number of rapes reported in New York state in 1996 was 20,911. At a 16% reporting rate, this means the actual number of rapes was closer to 139,406. (Computerized Criminal History, Feb. 1998)
That's a lot of fucking balloons. Who knew you had a cafeteria that big out in Worcester?
It might have been "This is the percent of people that have been raped in America" or something like that. I don't know - the balloons were pretty.
Oh, I wasn't suggesting that you were reporting incorrectly, Shoeshole. I was just marveling at the idea of a room big enough in Worcester to hold 650,000 balloons. That would be so many balloons! Pretty pretty!
Ha ha - Shoeshole.
For those of you not in my living room last night, I was putting on my shoes and Joe said "Where are you going, Shoey?" which led to me being called a rainstorm of shoe-related insults, such as "Shoebacca," culminating in Spencer's tour de force: Shoeshole.
I know, I know - it doesn't make a lot of sense, but trust me - it was funny.
I think I actually said "shoe-asshole." Just to be accurate. But "shoeshole" is also effective. Snicker snicker hee hee fa laaaa!
Being the chap who nonchalantly answered, "We're against violence," I must add more to the story. Yes, we are against violence. Who wouldn't be? But know this: we are also against terrycloth bathrobes, landmines and most china patterns.
Thank you for clearing that up, my cod-wrangling friend.
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