A story I forgot to tell about the bachelor weekend:
Joe and Jordan decided to buy BB guns, because Joe and Jordan are emotionally-stunted idiot manchildren. But also, BB guns are really fun.
We were staying at a nice cottage on a lake, so Joe set up a few targets on the beach at which to shoot, the most prominent of which was the latest copy of Latin Inches (which I viewed as a manifestation of either Joe's subconscious hatred of gays and Hispanics or his irrational love for the metric system). We just sat in lawn chairs, drank beer, smoked cigars and shot BB guns. It was, in a word, wicked fucking fun.
But in the cabin next to us, a family with young kids were swimming. Now, we were being safe and weren't shooting anywhere near the kids, but I'm sure the parents looked over, saw a bunch of guys with beers and guns and got nervous. As well they should.
If the dad or mom had come over and said, "Look guys - could you not shoot those guns here? We've got young kids." We would have of course apologized and stopped shooting the guns and felt like the troglodyte tools that we actual are. But did they do that? No.
They called the fucking cops.
Remember when calling the cops used to be the last resort? Now people use it as a way to avoid confrontation. I can't tell you how many times I've had the cops come and break up some innocent fun, just because the neighbors didn't have the sack to ask me to stop. Come on, people - I thought we were supposed to hate the cops. What the fuck?
Joe and Jordan decided to buy BB guns, because Joe and Jordan are emotionally-stunted idiot manchildren. But also, BB guns are really fun.
We were staying at a nice cottage on a lake, so Joe set up a few targets on the beach at which to shoot, the most prominent of which was the latest copy of Latin Inches (which I viewed as a manifestation of either Joe's subconscious hatred of gays and Hispanics or his irrational love for the metric system). We just sat in lawn chairs, drank beer, smoked cigars and shot BB guns. It was, in a word, wicked fucking fun.
But in the cabin next to us, a family with young kids were swimming. Now, we were being safe and weren't shooting anywhere near the kids, but I'm sure the parents looked over, saw a bunch of guys with beers and guns and got nervous. As well they should.
If the dad or mom had come over and said, "Look guys - could you not shoot those guns here? We've got young kids." We would have of course apologized and stopped shooting the guns and felt like the troglodyte tools that we actual are. But did they do that? No.
They called the fucking cops.
Remember when calling the cops used to be the last resort? Now people use it as a way to avoid confrontation. I can't tell you how many times I've had the cops come and break up some innocent fun, just because the neighbors didn't have the sack to ask me to stop. Come on, people - I thought we were supposed to hate the cops. What the fuck?
9 Comments:
So did you shoot them?
No, we said "Sir, yessir" and stopped. We're giant pussies.
I agree that the parents were pussies in not approaching you. In defense of my law enforcement brothers though, it's not like they have anything better to do in small town Western Mass. Busting your delinquent asses was probably the most excitement they had all week.
Perhaps the country's more "crazified" backyard gun-toting drinkers have given a bad name to your "surely nice folk" variety. I can see how a parent might hesitate before trotting over and talking to people with guns that they don't know. Eh?
I don't know - since when do adults need the cops to step in an solve their problems for them? They're not our parents.
But if you're my neighbor and I needed you to stop doing something and you were waving what looked like a real gun around, I think I'd balk too. I just kind of completely understand someone not wanting to start confrontations with armed men. Maybe that's just me huh.
In any case, you should have told the cops it was for a school project.
"Hypothesis: Middle School kids work for months on science project documenting the danger of BB guns using scientific methods, data, experiments, etc. thereby learning a valuable lesson about safety and the scientific process.
Result: Project is disqualified from the science fair because BB guns are too dangerous."
Boston.com article
I should clarify, the guns weren't close to real-looking.
Show us your guns!
Post a Comment
<< Home