I walked into the ATM last night to count my millions and I saw a handwritten note on the little counter where they keep the deposit envelopes. It read:

"If you are as upset as I am about these new non-hygenic envelopes that are required to lick, you should call Bank of America and complain at 1 800 blah blah blah..."

This struck me as a very funny thing about which to be "upset." I imagined some uptight crazy white lady (I mean come on - it had to be an uptight crazy white lady, right?) standing there, fuming. "You mean I have to lick the envelope now? This is unacceptable. Unacceptable!" Did you ever notice how frequently uptight white people use the term "unacceptable"?

Anyway, this note struck me sort of funny, so I wrote my own note, reading:

"Or you could actually do something useful with your time. You know, your choice..."

... and left it right next to the note. Of course, the irony is that by leaving a note about how the first note was a waste of time, I was actually wasting my time.

The lesson, as always: I like to lick things.