All this talk of bands breaking up got me thinking - how do you think Scamper is going to end? You always hope for a stylish, triumphant final gig like Fooled By April's last waltz this weekend. They did it about as good as you can do it.
Somehow, I don't think the end of Scamper will be nearly that pretty. How will Scamper die? Here are a few possibilities:
- Death by meeting. Keith calls yet another of his eternal "band business" meetings. He just keeps talking and talking and talking for eight straight days. Slowly, the three other formerly active, energetic members of the band morph into dehydrated, hallucinating lumps of clay, no longer able to function. Keith doesn't notice for four more days, as he is absorbed in his well-labelled pie graphs representing the shrinking percentage of fans who think the song "Sophie" is "really gay."
- Death by eyeliner. Photos from our most recent show end up in the right hands on Madison Avenue and the inevitable happens: Nate becomes the new Maybelline girl. All phone calls to him go unanswered and the only time any of us ever see his beautiful high-cheekboned visage is up on the billboards. The query "Maybe he's born with it..." is finally answered.
- Death by murder. During a particularly heated rehearsal, Mike finally snaps and strangles all three members of Scamper. Since he is wearing drummer's gloves, there are no fingerprints to link him to the crime. He gets off scott free and starts up his new band, the "I Murdered Scamper and There's Not a Thing You Can Do About It Trio." Featuring Marc Roderick on bass.
Any other ideas?
Somehow, I don't think the end of Scamper will be nearly that pretty. How will Scamper die? Here are a few possibilities:
- Death by meeting. Keith calls yet another of his eternal "band business" meetings. He just keeps talking and talking and talking for eight straight days. Slowly, the three other formerly active, energetic members of the band morph into dehydrated, hallucinating lumps of clay, no longer able to function. Keith doesn't notice for four more days, as he is absorbed in his well-labelled pie graphs representing the shrinking percentage of fans who think the song "Sophie" is "really gay."
- Death by eyeliner. Photos from our most recent show end up in the right hands on Madison Avenue and the inevitable happens: Nate becomes the new Maybelline girl. All phone calls to him go unanswered and the only time any of us ever see his beautiful high-cheekboned visage is up on the billboards. The query "Maybe he's born with it..." is finally answered.
- Death by murder. During a particularly heated rehearsal, Mike finally snaps and strangles all three members of Scamper. Since he is wearing drummer's gloves, there are no fingerprints to link him to the crime. He gets off scott free and starts up his new band, the "I Murdered Scamper and There's Not a Thing You Can Do About It Trio." Featuring Marc Roderick on bass.
Any other ideas?
9 Comments:
"maybe he's born with it..." is more of a postulate than a query.
It's good to have you back in town for a while Betsy, to help Nate keep the verbiage in line around here. :)
On a side note, I thought this was a great entry today.
I thought a "postulate" was that puss-filled sac on the underside of Mike Mirabella's balls.
And a "query" was what people say about Keith and Nate when they get together.
"Those two singers in Scamper - they're a little query."
I would just like to say that I haven't laughed this hard in a VERY long time. Thanks, Brendo.
I must have been overdue, what with all my cry-cry stuff about Fooled By April last week. Very query.
this was a priceless entry
very amusing
though what if the usual IHOP or chinese buffet was brought in to the picture..and you guys all ate too much and exploded?
it could happen, and scamper would be over.
the manager of IHOP would steal your instruments and write two songs about the incident, one called "viva la fried stuff with a side of home fries" and the other would be "because it tastes good"
Yes, we're missing the story by which it is all Brendan's fault. I, however, cannot be bothered to come up with it.
That was Johanna's first post. Wasn't she wonderful?
I'm always gentle when ladies engage my blog for the first time.
Boston Globe
Living/Arts
Members of Boston pop-rock band Scamper murdered.
"Heads chopped off to death"
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