There was some discussion over on Joe's Diary about how his getting married wasn't very "rock and roll." For a moment, let's ignore the general dumbness of this idea and leave this sort of weighty discussion to the deep thinkers on the Noise Board (Oh snap! No, I didn't!), because it got me thinking: do I do anything that's rock and roll? I mean, at all? Ever?

I'm not so sure. Let's take a gander at the events of my day yesterday and scan for any traces of rock-and-rollitude:

- Woke up at 8.27am. While this is clearly not a very "rock and roll" time to wake up, it is a mere 33 minutes from when I have to be at work. I'm devil-may-care like that. Hell, sometimes I even show up for work a few minutes late. Why? Because I'm 100% Grade-A bad-ass.

- Had a meeting with my boss in which we calmly and rationally expressed concerns about job performance. Hmmm... I guess a real rock and roller a) wouldn't have a job and b) would tell the purveyor of the job to take said job and shove it. I didn't do any of this. But I did use the word "fuck" a few times. That counts for something, right?

- Ate a salad. This is a toughie. I guess the only way to be really "rock and roll" about eating a salad is to pull a Jimmy Page and eat it out of a 16-year old groupie's hoo hoo. I certainly didn't do this. I just ate the damn salad. I did use extra croutons, though. It was lovely.

- Sat in my car and practiced Beatle harmonies. I'm sure the Beatles did this at some point, so it's got to be at least a little rock and roll. I guess you'll all have to judge for yourselves when you attend the Beatles show at the Abbey on Wednesday July 27th. There's a plug for you.

- Jogged for a mile. While taking care of your health is not very rock and roll, it should be noted that when I sweat, I smell a lot like Meatloaf. And I guess a little like actual meatloaf.

- Studied for a test. Hey, some of the greatest rock and rollers in history are also towering intellecutals, like Ted Nugent and Gene Simmons. Side note: Pete Galea has had two letters published on genesimmons.com. He's very proud of this fact, as well he should be.

- Watched wrestling. Okay, there's no way to sugar coat this one: I'm laaaaaaame. But it was Edge vs. Kane inside the steel cage! I'm only human, people!

In short, I guess I'm not very rock and roll. I think I have to work on my self-destructive habits a little bit. Tomorrow, I'm putting bacon bits on the salad. Don't try to stop me. I'm fucking nuts.