I'll get to my (now long-)awaited recap of this weekend's many events tomorrow, but there's an address I've got to issue. Scratch that. Reverse it.
People have been asking me: Brendo, what do you think of Rafael Palmiero being suspended for steroids? Well friends, it reminds me of something Grandpappy Clarke used to say. Grandpappy Clarke said that there are three things that will get you through this crazy life:
1) Don't mix dairy and mood stabilizers.
2) If you're a germophobe, a Dominican whorehouse probably isn't the place for you.
3) Never trust a man what wears a moustache.
Here's to you, Rafy. Thanks for creating yet another storm of pointless, childlike moral outrage to distract us from the real villians in this world: the Smurfs. We in Scamper salute you.
People have been asking me: Brendo, what do you think of Rafael Palmiero being suspended for steroids? Well friends, it reminds me of something Grandpappy Clarke used to say. Grandpappy Clarke said that there are three things that will get you through this crazy life:
1) Don't mix dairy and mood stabilizers.
2) If you're a germophobe, a Dominican whorehouse probably isn't the place for you.
3) Never trust a man what wears a moustache.
Here's to you, Rafy. Thanks for creating yet another storm of pointless, childlike moral outrage to distract us from the real villians in this world: the Smurfs. We in Scamper salute you.
10 Comments:
But if our children can't look up to full grown men who have spent their entire lives chasing a bouncing ball around a field, bitching to the entire country via the media about how their million dollar paychecks aren't millionairific enough, never needing to grow-up, do anything they don't want to do beyond reporting to Cincinatti after a trade, or get reasonable looking haircuts, what kind of country will we become? We need more players like Curt Schilling, men who will stand up, look America in the eye and say "I have spent my entire adult life throwing a ball like some sort of giant nine year old, and that's why you should vote for George W. Bush. You fucking desperate morons."
President Bush on his friend Palmiero's steroid use:
"He's testified in public, and I believe him."
Whaaaaa? You STILL believe him? But... he tested positive for steroids.
So much for tough on drugs.
i'm sorry, did you call the smurfs villains?
I want to know which member of Scamper is on the juice.
After Nate's furious basement-cleaning session last night, I'd say he was roid raging. Oh, and he has shrunken testes.
On a side note, way to stay on topic today, Stacy. You actually made a comment relevant to the journal entry. Good work.
See? We use positive reinforcement as well here on the scampernet.
[i]You actually made a comment relevant to the journal entry.[/i]
Ah, but just barely.
thanks brendo! now i feel on top of the world from scampernet driven confidence!
scampernet driven confidence
Scamper's new motivational workshops. Coming to a convention center near you!
i will be crossing my fingers that a portland date is included.
I knew there was a reason I didn't do so well in that Dominican whorehouse... If only I wasn't such a germaphobe I'd have a job already!
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