The big time moustache/birthday show at the Abbey Lounge is only nine days away, so the members of Scamper are growing some truly atrocious beards. If you haven't seen the full color photo of the brillo-covered badger hanging from Nate's chin, check it out hnyaw. Be warned - you may be aghast at the man's ribly virility.

As for the spotty red porcupine growing from my cheeks, it's starting to get a touch itchy. Last night, I dreamt that I was sleeping on a pillow of pink fiber glass. Oh, and that I boned my Aunt Eleanor. But you guys don't really need to know the details of that one.

It's getting to the point where I'm actually looking forward to shaving this sucker down and sporting the child molestor stash. The few of you out there who have seen me in one: not cute. Get ready for some screaming on the 18th.

I'm taking some time off work starting tomorrow, so updates to this site may be sporadic. Try not to get your panties in a bunch about it - I need a vacation baaaaad.