Someone's got a case of the Mondays and his name is Brendo.
I hesitate to tell this story, for fear of hurting someone's feelings who may be reading this, but I've got to get a little help here. A little background: there are a couple of things about me. The first thing is that I drink a lot. Well, not that much, but enough to kill the brain cells that I'm probably not going to end up using anyway. The second thing is that even when I'm not on the sauce, I've got the memory of an Alzheimer's-ridden anti-elephant. Essentially, my brain is a sieve full of tomato soup.
So I was sitting in a coffee shop yesterday, reading for my class. A girl sitting across from me looks up and smiles. Being a well-mannered handsome-boy, I smile back. She stands up, walks over and starts talking to me. It's clear that she knows me. There's only one problem: I have no idea who she is.
As we chat, I'm of course polite and pretend that I know her. As she talks, I'm racking my brain, scrutinizing everything she says for clues as to from where I know her. Nothing. It's a completely generic conversation. I could have met this girl anywhere.
After she leaves, I spend the next hour unable to concentrate on my work. From where the hell do I know this girl? I've got nothing. This leads me to three distinct possibilities:
1) She's insane and does this to random people in coffee shops.
2) She thinks I'm Mike Mirabella.
3) I drink too much.
This isn't the first time this has happened to me. Does anyone have any good advice on how to deal with this situation? And if that particular young lady is reading this, please email me and tell me who the hell you are. Don't be mad that I'm retarded.
I hesitate to tell this story, for fear of hurting someone's feelings who may be reading this, but I've got to get a little help here. A little background: there are a couple of things about me. The first thing is that I drink a lot. Well, not that much, but enough to kill the brain cells that I'm probably not going to end up using anyway. The second thing is that even when I'm not on the sauce, I've got the memory of an Alzheimer's-ridden anti-elephant. Essentially, my brain is a sieve full of tomato soup.
So I was sitting in a coffee shop yesterday, reading for my class. A girl sitting across from me looks up and smiles. Being a well-mannered handsome-boy, I smile back. She stands up, walks over and starts talking to me. It's clear that she knows me. There's only one problem: I have no idea who she is.
As we chat, I'm of course polite and pretend that I know her. As she talks, I'm racking my brain, scrutinizing everything she says for clues as to from where I know her. Nothing. It's a completely generic conversation. I could have met this girl anywhere.
After she leaves, I spend the next hour unable to concentrate on my work. From where the hell do I know this girl? I've got nothing. This leads me to three distinct possibilities:
1) She's insane and does this to random people in coffee shops.
2) She thinks I'm Mike Mirabella.
3) I drink too much.
This isn't the first time this has happened to me. Does anyone have any good advice on how to deal with this situation? And if that particular young lady is reading this, please email me and tell me who the hell you are. Don't be mad that I'm retarded.
7 Comments:
You really are as stupid as you look.
No way she thought you were Dougie. He should kick your ass for saying that.
No way she thought you were Dougie. He should kick your ass for saying that.
This last anonymous is a really dumb fuck. Not only did he publish his comment twice, but he thinks that Mike Mirabella and Doug Mirabelli are the same person.
i personally am proud that you just flat out didn't remember the whole time.
it's ten times worse when you remember half way through the conversation and make that "OOOH I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!" face or vocal reaction.
as your older brother i should advise you on this particualr issue.....
1. if she is cute she is more than likely crazy....
2. if she isnt cute, your in the clear, because... well frankly shes not cute....
Girls know men are stupid, you have every right to say these words "you know im sorry but who the crap are you?" Its best to be upfront. Because anyone who has ever had a girlfriend or wife knows that girls do not forget any conversation you've ever had ever! So if you were all charming when you met her and all generic now? Guess what buddy, she left there thinking, that fucker doesnt even remember who I am. But the real answer is quite simple:
If a pretty girl approaches you and starts acting a little flirty? Dam right shes looking for me!
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