Happy belated birthday to my little brother Colum who turned 27 yesterday. He's officially not that young anymore. He's in fact quite an old fogey now. He's got a house, a dog and he's getting married in November. He's practically decrepit at this point. So happy birthday bro and I hope you enjoy the grey pubes.
Speaking of the big wedding, Colum and his betrothed Katie have actually tapped me to officiate the ceremony. I am, after all, a legally recognized reverend. Seems like a good idea, right?
Katie calls me yesterday and we have the following conversation:
Katie: So you're still all set to do the wedding?
Me: Totally. Ready to go.
Katie: (pause) This is all... legal and everything right?
Me: Yeah, it is. I mean, I think it is.
Katie: You think?
Me: I'm pretty sure, yeah.
Katie: Umm... here, talk to Colum.
After the brief happy birthday conversation with Colum, I broached the subject of the actual ceremony, i.e. what I should say, etc. Colum's response: "Say whatever you want."
It's going to be a fuuuuuuuuuun wedding. I'm going to see how many times I can work in the word "douche."
Speaking of the big wedding, Colum and his betrothed Katie have actually tapped me to officiate the ceremony. I am, after all, a legally recognized reverend. Seems like a good idea, right?
Katie calls me yesterday and we have the following conversation:
Katie: So you're still all set to do the wedding?
Me: Totally. Ready to go.
Katie: (pause) This is all... legal and everything right?
Me: Yeah, it is. I mean, I think it is.
Katie: You think?
Me: I'm pretty sure, yeah.
Katie: Umm... here, talk to Colum.
After the brief happy birthday conversation with Colum, I broached the subject of the actual ceremony, i.e. what I should say, etc. Colum's response: "Say whatever you want."
It's going to be a fuuuuuuuuuun wedding. I'm going to see how many times I can work in the word "douche."
4 Comments:
Personally, I think you should go the other way, and deliver a fiery, hour-long jeremiad on the wages of sin, the riches of the righteous life, the obscene spread of pederasty and all of these damned poor people with their abortions and stolen televisions. Go whole hog with it.
I'm sure the Irish contingency would enjoy that - they're not going to consider it a wedding unless there's an hour-long mass involved.
i wish you were conducting my uncle's ceremony. it would make it a little more tolerable.
and yes, anything short of an hour-hour and a half is not really a wedding.
I'm just glad you didn't officiate my wedding.
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