I've got a super-duper long weekend coming up, as tomorrow is Veteran's Day and I'll be taking Monday off for the GREs, so you won't have me to kick around until Tuesday-ish. But here are a few things to remember in my absence:
- Tomorrow, find a military veteran and thank him for his service. Then while you're shaking his hand, remind him that he risked his life and made the ultimate sacrifice so that you now have the freedom to masturbate wearing nothing but an American flag as a diaper. Look him in the eye and give him a sincere "thank you" for that. Veterans really hate that shit, especially the WWII guys.
- Speaking of American duties, we must take the right to vote very seriously. Millions of people all around the world still don't have the privilege, so we must not take it lightly: it's important that you go on VH1.com and vote for Antonio Sabato Jr. in the "But Can They Sing?" contest. If you don't vote, that Gotti kid wins. It's the right thing to do.
- Vote with your radio dial (I know, weak metaphor) and listen to Scamper on New England Product on WFNX 101.7 at 10pm on Sunday. We're being interviewed, which is always fun fun fun. And then there will be a world premiere of a spanking new song that you haven't heard yet, featuring Kay Hanley on vocals and ME! ME! ME! on bass!
- Have you remembered to accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior? I'm just saying.
Ha ha - I love when people do that. Imagine I was just setting you up all this time with the dick jokes and the funny ha ha just to recruit you for Jesus? That's just good shit. Have a good weekend, pretty pretties.
- Tomorrow, find a military veteran and thank him for his service. Then while you're shaking his hand, remind him that he risked his life and made the ultimate sacrifice so that you now have the freedom to masturbate wearing nothing but an American flag as a diaper. Look him in the eye and give him a sincere "thank you" for that. Veterans really hate that shit, especially the WWII guys.
- Speaking of American duties, we must take the right to vote very seriously. Millions of people all around the world still don't have the privilege, so we must not take it lightly: it's important that you go on VH1.com and vote for Antonio Sabato Jr. in the "But Can They Sing?" contest. If you don't vote, that Gotti kid wins. It's the right thing to do.
- Vote with your radio dial (I know, weak metaphor) and listen to Scamper on New England Product on WFNX 101.7 at 10pm on Sunday. We're being interviewed, which is always fun fun fun. And then there will be a world premiere of a spanking new song that you haven't heard yet, featuring Kay Hanley on vocals and ME! ME! ME! on bass!
- Have you remembered to accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior? I'm just saying.
Ha ha - I love when people do that. Imagine I was just setting you up all this time with the dick jokes and the funny ha ha just to recruit you for Jesus? That's just good shit. Have a good weekend, pretty pretties.
9 Comments:
I actually prefer attending anti-war protests, picking the most tweedy, harmless looking NPR-type I can spot, running at him at full speed, and hitting him as hard as I possibly can in the head with a discarded hubcap. Then I like to shout either "THE TERRORISTS HAVE WON! THE TERRORISTS HAVE WON!" or "HA! Try remembering where you parked your recumbent bicycle now, pussy!"
I'll try that veteran thing, too, although I try to avoid confrontations with men who may have had to answer the question "Do I bayonet this 15 year old Vietnamese boy, or do I let him blow me up with that grenade of his?"
You wear a diaper when you masturbate?
i actually shared this with a couple of people today.
jesus jokes are always a hit in my book.
Good Luck on the GRE's dude.
Jesus loves you and really wants you to say something outrageous on the radio Sunday.
Do you really think it's funny to make fun of war veterans? I can't think of anything more offensive at this moment than that! I'm sure that my grandfather, now passed, would have appreciated your sophomoric sense of humor. Why don't you skip the GRE's and enlist if you want to make sure you can masturbate with the American flag as a diaper? I can't believe that you have the intention of being a mental health counselor!!!!
Oh, Anonymous - stop your flirting. Of course I'll sign your CD.
Hey Brendo I just had a chance to catch up on your comments from last week. I think your anonymous friend may be a little misguided. I’d love to know what anonymous finds more offensive: a juvenile joke, or thousands of young people being sent to die for no reason? A meaningless masturbation joke, or the president cutting benefits to veterans and reducing the available mental health services by 2/3rds for veterans with post traumatic stress disorder. I bet anonymous didn't write an angry letter about that, did you? No - it's definitely a dumb joke that you should REALLY be offended by. Try to keep a little perspective and remember where you are on the web and what you’re reading.
Thanks for having my back, Madden.
I think laughter is healing, but that's just me. But what do I know?
Playing catch-up here, but laughter healing? Surely you jext! Theer is absolutely NO healing powers in laughter. No no, and if you write to the people at Candid Camera, there is NO program that gives free funny videos to the severely ill in order to help in their recovery.
You are insane if you think that laughter is the best medicine. There is NO section of reader's digest that says that either.
Nutbag.
:P
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