Happy big 3-0 to my best buddy in the whole world, Mr. Joe Welsh of Fooled By April fame. Make sure you head over to his diary and offer him your best wishes peppered with a few classic "old guys have grey pubes" jokes. Those always go over huge.

Joe has accomplished a lot in his 30 years - one need only to see him play on stage to be overwhelmed by his musical prowess. He also somehow managed to get a brilliant, beautiful woman to (against legal advice) actually marry his sorry ass. He managed to kick his addictions (except his compunction for poodle buggery) and leave a clean, healthy and happy life.

Joe and I grew up together and all jokes aside, I'm really proud of the man he's become. So as he turns 30 today, let's raise a glass to my buddy Joe: you're not balding, you're not (that) fat and you're a hell of a lot more happy than you were at 15 or 20 or 25. I don't think you can ask for much more than that. And don't worry - you can always dye the pubes.