Just when Scamper's luck was beginning to turn, it seems that some wanker was digging through some of our cars in my driveway during rehearsal last night. Luckily, nothing of value was taken - just a few bucks in change. Dealing with this shit is part and parcel of city life, but still - it's infuriating to think that while we're in the basement making the sweet love music, some creepy creepy is up in the driveway poking through our intimates. It makes me think twice about keeping my crotchless panties in the glove box.
Because of what was and wasn't taken, we're pretty sure it was a random drifter or bored teenager, but the thought does occur: maybe someone's targeting Scamper for harassment. Look, Syd - you already won the Hanson contest. No need to keep rubbing it in, okay? Leave us alone!
One brief funny moment during the whole ordeal was when I looked to see whether someone had ransacked my car... and I couldn't tell. It's probably time to tidy up the old vehicle a little bit. It also smells like a homeless goat's balls in there. Maybe an air freshener wouldn't be the worst idea.
So step up, America! Who did this to us? Admit it!
Because of what was and wasn't taken, we're pretty sure it was a random drifter or bored teenager, but the thought does occur: maybe someone's targeting Scamper for harassment. Look, Syd - you already won the Hanson contest. No need to keep rubbing it in, okay? Leave us alone!
One brief funny moment during the whole ordeal was when I looked to see whether someone had ransacked my car... and I couldn't tell. It's probably time to tidy up the old vehicle a little bit. It also smells like a homeless goat's balls in there. Maybe an air freshener wouldn't be the worst idea.
So step up, America! Who did this to us? Admit it!
16 Comments:
Brendo, where in God's name do you LIVE man? First the flooding, then your heat goes out... and now sand people (presumably) rummaging through your car? Time to look for some new digs, mate!
I think when Fooled By April left the basement, they put a curse on it.
I've always thought Pete was a faerie.
I read an article recently in the Somerville News about the disproportionately high population of homeless goats in the Davis Sq. area. They made no mention of how bad their balls smelled however.
Goat's balls? Child's play.
My car smells like an anchovy's privates.
So much for my many relatives in Somerville claiming that West Somerville (Davis Square/Tufts) is the "good section" and East Somerville (Winter Hill/Sullivan Sq area) is "the dangerous part."
i don't know who - but if they took really rediculous things and left valuable ones they are continuing a trend. My downstairs neighbors were burglarized over the weekend and the theif made off with
- a 1980s era vacume
- a set of burger king red sox cups
- a clearly broken laptop (left the good unbroken one)
- a bunch of cheap and fake jewlery (leaving the real and valuable jewlery in the same box undisturbed.)
maybe both crimes were committed by Vincent Gallo?
Hey, wait a minute.
I live in the dangerous part of Somerville?
God damn it! Where are the people who are supposed to be rummaging through my car?
I feel slighted.
"maybe both crimes were committed by Vincent Gallo?"
Perhaps he thought Brendo made off with some of his sperm.
And don't forget about the ever-dangerous Somerville C.H.U.D.s... they'll get you.
" I read an article recently in the Somerville News"
Hahahhaha, good one.
Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers do not steal trinkets from parked cars. Don't spread rumors about these misunderstood creatures.
Okay, Anonymous - you win the "I know what C.H.U.D. stands for" sweepstakes. Take your bow, you magnificent bastard.
10 backpacks were stolen from my school's BioVan while my roommate's class was out doing field work today. it seems like an epidemic. what kind of theif wants 10 copies of the intro bio textbook, and almost a semester's worth of bio notes (and not much else)? my theory is they were shooting to score something REALLY valuable. like poli sci notes
I stole your shit...sorry dude.
Hey!
Does Captain Planet drive the BioVan?
Captain Planet - he's a hero, you know. Gonna bring pollution down to zero. Bitches.
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