Hope everyone had a happy Christmas and your stocking was stuffed with fifty dollar bills, eight balls and other wonderful holiday cheer. It wasn't a great Christmas for me, as I accidentally maimed one of Santa's elves in a tragic wassailing accident. The village children just cried and cried. Not pretty.
Other than that, the holiday was pretty nice. Spent lots of time with the extended family - it's always reassuring to be reminded that most of my personality quirks are very likely genetic. Everyone in my family is like this. It's not just me.
One funny holiday anecdote - my newly-married brother Colum was fixing an extra-strong screwdriver (a.k.a. a giant glass of vodka with just a hint of orange juice for color) for his new father-in-law when we had the following exchange:
Colum: We've found that he's easier to deal with around the holidays the more liquor he's got in him.
Me: Man, I envy that.
Colum: What do you mean?
Me: Someday, I hope to be so difficult that the family has to employ strategies to deal with me.
Colum: (looks at me) Oh, we've got strategies.
How was everyone else's holiday? Any embarrassing/awkward family stories this year? Those are my favorites.
Other than that, the holiday was pretty nice. Spent lots of time with the extended family - it's always reassuring to be reminded that most of my personality quirks are very likely genetic. Everyone in my family is like this. It's not just me.
One funny holiday anecdote - my newly-married brother Colum was fixing an extra-strong screwdriver (a.k.a. a giant glass of vodka with just a hint of orange juice for color) for his new father-in-law when we had the following exchange:
Colum: We've found that he's easier to deal with around the holidays the more liquor he's got in him.
Me: Man, I envy that.
Colum: What do you mean?
Me: Someday, I hope to be so difficult that the family has to employ strategies to deal with me.
Colum: (looks at me) Oh, we've got strategies.
How was everyone else's holiday? Any embarrassing/awkward family stories this year? Those are my favorites.
8 Comments:
Christmas day arriving at my aunt's house. Greeted by my Grandmother.
Gram: I just wanted you to know that Darrell is coming today. (Darrell never comes)
My Mother: Oh. Nice.
Gram: Well.. Also. He's bringing his baby.
My Mother: Really? I didn't know.
Gram: Well. No one knew. In fact. He didn't know. He just found out a few days ago.
Another Christmas miracle graces my family.
My Nan gave everyone weirdly generous checks (mine was in the thousands) that were dated 'December 25, 2025.' I was torn between depression over her increasing senility, and disappointment at the knowledge that my conscience wouldn't allow me to cash the thing and buy another fucking watch.
Old people, whaddyagonnado?
there were a lot of divorce announcements. i kept stepping on my skirt and almost flashing everyone. my uncle had ribs (who has something this messy at a christmas eve party?!). my cousins all giggled a lot and took pictures of themselves. my little cousin (who's 16) started bitching about how she's the only ugly cousin (which is true) to her mom. my uncle kicked a present someone got for his ex-wife under the couch. my aunt brought her new boyfriend and made out with him in our living room. the mormon cousins with their 8 kids showed up and ate all our food we planned to have for leftovers. we drove back up north in crappy weather. my dad bought everyone presents at shaw's on the way home.
i guess it was pretty boring.
i'm glad it's over.
Jesus. Stacy's in the lead so far.
I haven't heard of a Christmas that depressing since Peppermint Patty fondled Woodstock behind Snoopy's doghouse (note: that scene was cut out of the Peanuts Christmas special).
see why i'm allowed to hate the holiday now? i think it has nothing to do with my original thoughts.
and there is no way that peppermint patty would've gone near woodstock. i just don't see that little birdie being her type.
was she drunk?
Nate's cousin here. We avoided being subjected to my folks' Santana/Eric Clapton CDs by thismuch. Good enough for me.
Avoiding Eric Clapton - now that's a Christmas miracle.
Caught Brendan cutting the food line at xmas dinner and now I've caught him talking about my father.... He is the talk of most family parties. What else would we do if we couldn't make fun...
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