Time once again for some of Brendo's New Year's resolutions. As you read yesterday, I miserably failed in all my attempts at bettering myself and achieving my goals in 2005. Here's hoping I can do a little better this year. In 2006, I resolve to:

- Try to get my shilling out of the way early, like reminding everyone to get their tickets early for the big Scamper/Kay Hanley show at TT the Bear's on Thursday, January 5. The place always sells out whenever Kay comes back to town, so be sure to plan ahead lest you end up looking like a right old New Year's jerkoff.

- Finally hunt down and drive a stake through the heart of Count Chocula. He's been terrorizing the Transylvania countryside for too many years and it is time for him to die. And don't even get me started on Yummy Mummy.

- Stop using "effect" when I really mean "affect." I'll admit it - I have a degree in English and I've never quite mastered this one. Along the same lines, I'll try to stop using the term "Old Touchy-in-the-Bad-Place McGillicuddy" when I really mean "Grandpa."

- Try to write less in this space about my drummer's balls. Really, I know it's been funny and we've all had a good laugh, but it's time to stop. It's just flat-out immature. Besides, there are other parts of Mike's undercarriage besides his huge balls that are going tragically underappreciated, like his wrinkly shaft and his bulbous taint. (Note: I actually made myself a little uncomfortable with that last line. That's a New Year's first.)

- Start the revolution. I don't want to give too much away, but Scamper is hatching a little project that's going to revolutionize the way we entertain you in 2006. It's still in the planning stages now, but it should be very cool. So stay tuned. And yes, that's a fucking tease and a half.

Enough from me. Anyone else have any resolutions?