Happy Friday, snow leopards. Word of warning: I'm going to be off work all next week, so I'm not sure if I'm going to be posting. I'll probably try to check in, but don't get all up in my ace if you don't hear from me for a week. I deserve a vacation without packing my bags for another guilt trip. I'm looking in your general direction, Alena Pants.
Slim pickins for this week's Friday Rip-off (in which I steal other people's ideas in lieu of coming up with something original myself). I knew this was going to happen - once everyone knew I was expecting them to be funny, you all clammed right the F up. For shame. Still, I did have this brief conversation with Hogg yesterday:
Hogg: Hey, I just got some shocking news... it turns out that the "Soul Patrol" is actually an anal rape gang. I bet America didn't see THAT coming!
Me: I... I have no idea what you're talking about.
Hogg: Oh. It's American Idol bullshit.
Me: Sorry. I don't watch that show. Was that a funny line?
Hogg: It was okay, I guess. I've done better.
Me: Eh, good enough. It's only the journal.
One more - as I was walking into one of my local bars last evening (as I'm wont to do), I noticed an attractive gothy young lady standing outside smoking with her tattoo-covered boyfriend. As I approached, I spotted the GI Joe Cobra insignia...
... tattooed smack dab in the middle of her cleavage. As I asked her about the tattoo, her boyfriend pulls a drag from his cigarette and says, "She's my Baroness." Bad ass. I shook the man's hand for being so much cooler than I'll ever be.
Speaking of GI Joe, did you know that after collecting the DNA from the greatest leaders in history to create Serpentor, Cobra then divided the genetic material back into five parts to create the band Harris? True story. Come on by the Middle East tonight and see them in all their evil glory getting their ass kicked by Sergeant Scamper. Hospital "Tomax and Xamot" Grade and Baker a.k.a. Destro are opening.
Slim pickins for this week's Friday Rip-off (in which I steal other people's ideas in lieu of coming up with something original myself). I knew this was going to happen - once everyone knew I was expecting them to be funny, you all clammed right the F up. For shame. Still, I did have this brief conversation with Hogg yesterday:
Hogg: Hey, I just got some shocking news... it turns out that the "Soul Patrol" is actually an anal rape gang. I bet America didn't see THAT coming!
Me: I... I have no idea what you're talking about.
Hogg: Oh. It's American Idol bullshit.
Me: Sorry. I don't watch that show. Was that a funny line?
Hogg: It was okay, I guess. I've done better.
Me: Eh, good enough. It's only the journal.
One more - as I was walking into one of my local bars last evening (as I'm wont to do), I noticed an attractive gothy young lady standing outside smoking with her tattoo-covered boyfriend. As I approached, I spotted the GI Joe Cobra insignia...
... tattooed smack dab in the middle of her cleavage. As I asked her about the tattoo, her boyfriend pulls a drag from his cigarette and says, "She's my Baroness." Bad ass. I shook the man's hand for being so much cooler than I'll ever be.
Speaking of GI Joe, did you know that after collecting the DNA from the greatest leaders in history to create Serpentor, Cobra then divided the genetic material back into five parts to create the band Harris? True story. Come on by the Middle East tonight and see them in all their evil glory getting their ass kicked by Sergeant Scamper. Hospital "Tomax and Xamot" Grade and Baker a.k.a. Destro are opening.
9 Comments:
The other day, rehearsal was cancelled, so I says to Brendo, I says "Let's go out for beers." He says "I have no money for beers." Fair enough.
But lo and behold, one night later, he says he's out at the bars.
Jerk.
people who write in journals every day (but don't exactly have enough *life material*) to write every day make shit up AWHL the time.
i know from what i speak: joe's entry about the kid at mcdonald's licking the countertop had happened about 2 months previous. shocking, i know.
The other day, rehearsal was cancelled, so I says to Brendo, I says "Let's go out for beers." He says "I have no money for beers." Fair enough.
But lo and behold, one night later, he says he's out at the bars.
Jerk.
Maybe if you had a tattoo of the Cobra insignia between YOUR tits, I'd be a little more willing to spend a few bucks on you.
Harris tickles me in such a way that if a woman tickled me in that way, I'd say 'Oh baby, yea. That's nice. That's the spot.'
Something like that.
so wait a second, back up...
I'm looking at the bowling alley picture on the front here, and you'all are actually wearing bowling shoes. Please God tell me you actually bowled and didn't just rent shoes. Its way gayer than I thought...
BTW, Cobra Comandette? Hot.
Maybe if you had a tattoo of the Cobra insignia between YOUR tits, I'd be a little more willing to spend a few bucks on you.
It's a well known fact that Nate does NOT have tits.
Nice try though.
Please God tell me you actually bowled and didn't just rent shoes.
Oh we bowled. It wasn't pretty, but we bowled.
Oh we bowled. It wasn't pretty, but we bowled.
I wouldn't call what any of us did "bowling."
Johnny beat us all - Keith by one pin, me by two. Mike by... a lot.
cobratits. interesting.
i think that you should sing more leads, yo.
*giggles*
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