Man, those Greenlanders (Greenlandonians?) are pretty nuts, huh? It's a wacky part of the world up in Scandanovinania or wherever the fuck Greenland is. Those crazy Nordic bastards in Kalaallit Nunaat made a tasty "suaasat" (this soup made from seal, whale, poultry or lamb with onion, rice and potatoes is the national dish of Greenland) out of the audience at the ITA Battle of the Bands at the Middle East Downstairs last night.
Okay, true confession - the members of Kalaallit Nunaat aren't actually from Greenland (shocking, I know). It's all just a crazy gimmick/needy cry for attention. My buddy Rich is the charismatic and sultry frontman of a ragtag group of ITA employees playing their first gig together. When he asked me to jump in on bass for three cover songs in front of a packed house at the Middle East, how could I refuse? I've seen the man karaoke and he is a force with which to be reckoned. It wasn't even a question - I would follow Rich into rock and roll battle.
Wacky costumes were the rule of the day, as the band members sported Viking helmets, crazy sunglasses and other zany regalia. I did my best to keep pace with my clown pants/tank top/paisley tie combo topped off with white panty hose on my head. It just oozed pure sex, let me tell you. I'm hoping there is no photographic evidence of my fashion faux pasesees.
The band ripped through three cover songs: Heart's "Barracuda," Stone Temple Pilots' "Vasoline" and finally (my favorite) Guns 'N Roses' "You Could Be Mine." It was a raucous 12 minutes of fury with Rich's screeching vocals blowing the doors off the place. Guitarist Rob and I even managed to work in a little KISS-style choreography. Shame was left at the door. It was excellent.
Actually, the most satisfying part of the whole endeavor was coaching Rich through his first ever rock star experience. Despite being a karaoke all-star, Rich had never before fronted a band. While most of us cut our teeth at high school talent shows, Rich had the luck/challenge of doing it in front of a few hundred people at the Middle East Downstairs. He stepped up to the plate and hit it out of the goddamn park. After the show, I saw the look in his eyes that I've seen so many times in the mirror - he liked the taste of honey and wanted some more. Really, I couldn't have been prouder.
Rock and roll, people. There's nothing in the world like it. If you want to enjoy your life just a little bit more, go out and try it yourself. Tell them Uncle Brendo sent you.
Okay, true confession - the members of Kalaallit Nunaat aren't actually from Greenland (shocking, I know). It's all just a crazy gimmick/needy cry for attention. My buddy Rich is the charismatic and sultry frontman of a ragtag group of ITA employees playing their first gig together. When he asked me to jump in on bass for three cover songs in front of a packed house at the Middle East, how could I refuse? I've seen the man karaoke and he is a force with which to be reckoned. It wasn't even a question - I would follow Rich into rock and roll battle.
Wacky costumes were the rule of the day, as the band members sported Viking helmets, crazy sunglasses and other zany regalia. I did my best to keep pace with my clown pants/tank top/paisley tie combo topped off with white panty hose on my head. It just oozed pure sex, let me tell you. I'm hoping there is no photographic evidence of my fashion faux pasesees.
The band ripped through three cover songs: Heart's "Barracuda," Stone Temple Pilots' "Vasoline" and finally (my favorite) Guns 'N Roses' "You Could Be Mine." It was a raucous 12 minutes of fury with Rich's screeching vocals blowing the doors off the place. Guitarist Rob and I even managed to work in a little KISS-style choreography. Shame was left at the door. It was excellent.
Actually, the most satisfying part of the whole endeavor was coaching Rich through his first ever rock star experience. Despite being a karaoke all-star, Rich had never before fronted a band. While most of us cut our teeth at high school talent shows, Rich had the luck/challenge of doing it in front of a few hundred people at the Middle East Downstairs. He stepped up to the plate and hit it out of the goddamn park. After the show, I saw the look in his eyes that I've seen so many times in the mirror - he liked the taste of honey and wanted some more. Really, I couldn't have been prouder.
Rock and roll, people. There's nothing in the world like it. If you want to enjoy your life just a little bit more, go out and try it yourself. Tell them Uncle Brendo sent you.
7 Comments:
You have a buddy Rich? Good drummer, that.
Jazz is for assholes.
Ass is for jazzholes.
That's it - I'm starting a jazz band called The Jazzholes.
I'm afraid you're too late. There's already one called Jazzhole.
Damn it! ALL the good ideas are already taken. There are no good ideas left.
..except, of course, for founding the world's only hard rock band devoted to the hard working and extremely spread out people of Greenland.
oh wait - that has also been done.
Be Proud
Be Strong
Be Kalaallit
did you know:
Greenland's national day is June 21 and is called "Ullortuneq" which means "The longest Day".
mamaq!
Aluu and inuulluarit,
-Rob the Red
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