Quick reminders: Kay Hanley at TT's tomorrow. Rocketscience and Hooray for Earth at the Wellfleet Beachcomber on Friday the 21st. There's a bus. Get on said bus.
Now, this "shopping for a new last name" thing has sure been a fascinating little project. My first instinct was to just go with my middle name, making me "Brendan James." Unfortunately, there already is a Brendan James who apparently is a Capitol Records artist. I know - I haven't heard of him either, but I don't want to take the chance of him breaking big and me ending up stuck with the equivalent of naming myself "Nick Lachey" or some shit.
After I combed through a few old family names that just didn't seem to fit, I of course immediately turned to the world of professional wrestling. "Brendan Flair." "Brendan Piper." "Brendan 'The Dragon' Steamboat." As much as I enjoy the occasional steel chair to the cranium, none of them really fit like a pair of velour tights with my name embroidered across the ass. Vinny suggested I go with either "Brendan B. Ware," "The Brendan Shiek" or "Andre the Brendan."
Nate decided to go another way entirely - his suggestion was to go with a one-word concept name, like "Strength." It sounds ridiculous, but hey - people call Sting "Sting" without snickering. Who says I can't pull it off? I almost decided to go for it, just to see the look on people's face when I say "Hi, my name is Strength." I know it would get pretty old pretty quick, but still - "Call me Strength." Classic.
Then, I remembered that an old friend of mine from high school and I used to give people American Indian "Dances With Wolves" names to describe their foibles. One of our friends was "Thinks With Dick" while another was "Enables His Alcoholic Family." But what would mine be? "Sweats Through Tuxedo Pants"? "Blogs About Drummer's Balls"?
I'm still in a conundrum. Nothing's really stuck so far, but there have been some great suggestions, both on the comments and to my email. Keep them coming - I promise to make a decision by Friday and end this crap of which you are probably all tired by now. Whoever's name I choose gets a big Vladimir Putin-style kiss on his/her belly. Now THAT'S a prize, friends. See you all tomorrow night at TT's.
Now, this "shopping for a new last name" thing has sure been a fascinating little project. My first instinct was to just go with my middle name, making me "Brendan James." Unfortunately, there already is a Brendan James who apparently is a Capitol Records artist. I know - I haven't heard of him either, but I don't want to take the chance of him breaking big and me ending up stuck with the equivalent of naming myself "Nick Lachey" or some shit.
After I combed through a few old family names that just didn't seem to fit, I of course immediately turned to the world of professional wrestling. "Brendan Flair." "Brendan Piper." "Brendan 'The Dragon' Steamboat." As much as I enjoy the occasional steel chair to the cranium, none of them really fit like a pair of velour tights with my name embroidered across the ass. Vinny suggested I go with either "Brendan B. Ware," "The Brendan Shiek" or "Andre the Brendan."
Nate decided to go another way entirely - his suggestion was to go with a one-word concept name, like "Strength." It sounds ridiculous, but hey - people call Sting "Sting" without snickering. Who says I can't pull it off? I almost decided to go for it, just to see the look on people's face when I say "Hi, my name is Strength." I know it would get pretty old pretty quick, but still - "Call me Strength." Classic.
Then, I remembered that an old friend of mine from high school and I used to give people American Indian "Dances With Wolves" names to describe their foibles. One of our friends was "Thinks With Dick" while another was "Enables His Alcoholic Family." But what would mine be? "Sweats Through Tuxedo Pants"? "Blogs About Drummer's Balls"?
I'm still in a conundrum. Nothing's really stuck so far, but there have been some great suggestions, both on the comments and to my email. Keep them coming - I promise to make a decision by Friday and end this crap of which you are probably all tired by now. Whoever's name I choose gets a big Vladimir Putin-style kiss on his/her belly. Now THAT'S a prize, friends. See you all tomorrow night at TT's.
22 Comments:
And just think of "Strength's Journal."
My Indian name, by the way, is Scrubbing Bubbles.
Brendan Lachey.
Brendan "Magic" Johnson
I was going to say Brendan Putin, which I almost like, but then I was reminded of the "Poont" phrase, to which I add both the above and Brendan Poont
Or..
Brendan Spears
Brendan Simpson (you could be Homer's long lost son? the possibilities...)
Brendan "Suri" Cruise
Brendanican Idol
Brendan Cooper/McKeller (you could say you married Winnie/Danica)
Brendan Sox
Ok, I think I'm done for now.
Too bad about that Capitol Records guy, Brendan James is a good one. I mean, if you want to be more serious than say, Brendan McHammer.
- Brendan Walsh
- Brendan Bean (much like the famous Brendan Behan, but cleverly, not)
- Brendan's of Boston (you could open up an upscale rockstar clothing line)
I tell ya what, "Brendo" isn't a bad one-name name actually. It even sounds like Bono, but slightly less graceful or something. Perfect!
That's what I'm saying here! What's wrong with Brendo? I'm uncomfortable with change...
Brendan Cox
Brendan Cox-Arquette
Brendan from Ork
StrongBrendan
Brendan, P.I.
Brendan Jimmyfallonkiller
I too am a fan of Brendo for a one name, name.
Some others off the top of my head that have nothing to do with nothing:
Brendan Smith
Brendan T. Man
Brendan Dough
Brendan St. Brendan
B. Money
Brendan Frodo
Brendan Skywalker
By the power of Brendan, I am He-Brendan!
Great suggestions, all. Just keep in mind - when there are articles written about Scamper, they sometimes list the band members. So I'm looking for something a little fun, but not necessarily something that will make everyone say "What the fuck?" and then devote their life to doing detective work to find out the real name of "Brendan Jimmyfallonkiller."
How about Brendan Busey?
or Brendan Bass, that would be nice and to the point.
Brendan Billy Bigmouth Bass.
Brendan Arroyo
Raisin Brendan
I second the one-name approach.
You could be like CHER. Or MADONNA.
Why in the world would I want to be like Cher or Madonna?
Because Madonna and Cher are wicked awesome...
Uh, my "word verification" would be a cool one: Titoti. "What up, Titoti?" Yeah, that totally has a ring to it...
Pick one already, Sik-Wit-It.
Brendan Cleveland Steamer
Brendan Roadsteamer
Why in the world would I want to be like Cher or Madonna?
A killer bod when you're old (artificially enhanced or otherwise).
Also, breasts.
Combining your band discipline with your "real-world" discipline:
Brendan Bandura
Brendan Binswanger
http://www.ship.edu/~cgboeree/perscontents.html
Bert
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