As many of you have read in the past, nicknaming Red Sox players is a bit of a hobby of mine. Joe, 12-Gauge and I came up with a few beauts in our day, including Bullett (Brian Daubach), Gabe "Tip of the" Kapler and of course, Big Papi (Jonathan Papelbon). Well, I'm pleased to report that yesterday, a new Red Sox nickname was born. Here's how it all went down:
Occasionally, Scamper's erstwhile leader Keith Daddy will try to bond with me by pretending that he knows something about pro wrestling, leading to the following conversation...
Keith: Batista... is... BACK!
Brendan: You seem pretty excited about it.
Keith: I really am.
Brendan: With the injury to Mark Henry, who do you think he's going to wrestle at the Great American Bash?
Keith: Umm...
Brendan: Perhaps one of the superstars from RAW, like Kane or Umaga?
Keith: Maybe...
Brendan: We know it won't be the Great Khali, as he's already embroiled in a bitter "Punjabi Prison" match with the Undertaker. I mean, any idiot knows that.
Keith: I think it will be the Dunkler.
Brendan: It could be. It could be the Dunkler, although it's not incredibly likely, since there's no such person as the Dunkler.
Keith: Come on, man. It's the Dunkler!
Brendan: No, you're making him up.
[As we argue, the Red Sox score comes in on the wire.]
Keith: Looks like Josh Beckett got the shut-out win.
Brendan: Sweet. Maybe Josh Beckett will challenge Batista.
Keith: That's what I said.
Brendan: What do you mean?
Keith: Well... have YOU ever seen Josh Beckett and the Dunkler in the same place together?
Brendan: I can honestly say that I haven't.
It's just that simple, folks. Josh Beckett is now "The Dunkler." It's sort of obvious if you look at his bulbous face. That guy is SO the Dunkler.
If you'd like to argue Red Sox nicknames with Keith or myself, we'll be heading down to the Wellfleet Beachcomber tomorrow night to play a little showy show with Rocketscience and Hooray for Earth. Rumor has it that John, the drummer from Rocketscience, will challenge Mick Foley to a brutal no-holds-barred "Beards on the Beach" match. Should be quite the spectacle. See you there, Scampermaniacs.
Occasionally, Scamper's erstwhile leader Keith Daddy will try to bond with me by pretending that he knows something about pro wrestling, leading to the following conversation...
Keith: Batista... is... BACK!
Brendan: You seem pretty excited about it.
Keith: I really am.
Brendan: With the injury to Mark Henry, who do you think he's going to wrestle at the Great American Bash?
Keith: Umm...
Brendan: Perhaps one of the superstars from RAW, like Kane or Umaga?
Keith: Maybe...
Brendan: We know it won't be the Great Khali, as he's already embroiled in a bitter "Punjabi Prison" match with the Undertaker. I mean, any idiot knows that.
Keith: I think it will be the Dunkler.
Brendan: It could be. It could be the Dunkler, although it's not incredibly likely, since there's no such person as the Dunkler.
Keith: Come on, man. It's the Dunkler!
Brendan: No, you're making him up.
[As we argue, the Red Sox score comes in on the wire.]
Keith: Looks like Josh Beckett got the shut-out win.
Brendan: Sweet. Maybe Josh Beckett will challenge Batista.
Keith: That's what I said.
Brendan: What do you mean?
Keith: Well... have YOU ever seen Josh Beckett and the Dunkler in the same place together?
Brendan: I can honestly say that I haven't.
It's just that simple, folks. Josh Beckett is now "The Dunkler." It's sort of obvious if you look at his bulbous face. That guy is SO the Dunkler.
If you'd like to argue Red Sox nicknames with Keith or myself, we'll be heading down to the Wellfleet Beachcomber tomorrow night to play a little showy show with Rocketscience and Hooray for Earth. Rumor has it that John, the drummer from Rocketscience, will challenge Mick Foley to a brutal no-holds-barred "Beards on the Beach" match. Should be quite the spectacle. See you there, Scampermaniacs.
7 Comments:
I used that nickname for Brian Dunkleman, former co-host of American Idol.
It's fun to say though, and he is the FORMER co-host.
I guess it works. Good job, Keith!
12-Gauge
What's his new name? Applesauce Champion?
I'm unfamiliar with "Tip of the Kapler". I am familiar with Gabe "El Kapitan" Kapler. Are they the same player?
What's his new name? Applesauce Champion?
That would be the Applesauce Master.
I'm unfamiliar with "Tip of the Kapler". I am familiar with Gabe "El Kapitan" Kapler.
"El Kapitan" is a dumb nickname for Kapler. It doesn't have the sublime dignity of "Tip of the."
I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I agree with you on the nickname for Kapler.
He is a gentleman and deserves a nickname that shows that off.
Kapler's nickname will forever be "Double Unit." End of Story.
Find some photos of a Kap-let in some mens-health-body-building-mag, and you'll clearly see why.
Beyond that, I love "The Seabass" - Alex Gonzalez.
Sorry, Nate Diggity has already given Alex Gonzalez his proper nickname: "The Hag."
He came onto the team is "Light Hitting Alex Gonzalez." L.H.A.G. = El Hag = The Hag.
It's a done deal.
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