Hope everyone had a nice weekend and stayed good and hydrated. As for me, I was lucky enough to be invited to the wedding of my pals Dawn and Jim, who finally made it legal after a sprawling 10-year courtship. Regular readers will likely remember both Dawn and Jim, who have made a few memorable appearances in the hallowed archives of this here journal. In fact, unless I'm mistaken, Dawn is the one and only proud owner of the BrendoThong.
As you can probably gather from these examples, Dawn and Jim are clearly two unique individuals whose simultaneous joy and exasperation with life is somehow both endlessly entertaining and inspiring to be around. They're good people that love each other. Sometimes, it's just that simple. Congratulations, guys.
As for your local rock hero, all the resources of my body are still being utilized for "recovery mode." It wasn't so much the alcohol that did the damage - it was an outdoor wedding on Saturday so the combination of buckets of sweat pouring off me on the dance floor and the mosquitos sucking every spare drop of liquid out of my salty-tasting body meant that I could drink all night without even a courtesy buzz.
No, what I'm really hurting from is the worm. Years before they were even engaged, Dawn made me promise that at her wedding, I would do the worm across the dance floor. I am a lot of things, but a man that doesn't keep his word to a bride on her wedding day is NOT one of them. As a result, I have giant bruises on my knees and there are tiny aching muscles in my lower back and abdominal areas. The worm is no joke. It was worth it as Dawn was a happy woman, but here's a publice service announcement: only bring our wormy friend out when absolutely necessary, Turbos. Your lower lumbar region will thank you in the morning.
Speaking of celebrations, Brendo Birthday Month officially starts tomorrow! Oh my God - are you guys as excited as I am?
As you can probably gather from these examples, Dawn and Jim are clearly two unique individuals whose simultaneous joy and exasperation with life is somehow both endlessly entertaining and inspiring to be around. They're good people that love each other. Sometimes, it's just that simple. Congratulations, guys.
As for your local rock hero, all the resources of my body are still being utilized for "recovery mode." It wasn't so much the alcohol that did the damage - it was an outdoor wedding on Saturday so the combination of buckets of sweat pouring off me on the dance floor and the mosquitos sucking every spare drop of liquid out of my salty-tasting body meant that I could drink all night without even a courtesy buzz.
No, what I'm really hurting from is the worm. Years before they were even engaged, Dawn made me promise that at her wedding, I would do the worm across the dance floor. I am a lot of things, but a man that doesn't keep his word to a bride on her wedding day is NOT one of them. As a result, I have giant bruises on my knees and there are tiny aching muscles in my lower back and abdominal areas. The worm is no joke. It was worth it as Dawn was a happy woman, but here's a publice service announcement: only bring our wormy friend out when absolutely necessary, Turbos. Your lower lumbar region will thank you in the morning.
Speaking of celebrations, Brendo Birthday Month officially starts tomorrow! Oh my God - are you guys as excited as I am?
4 Comments:
out of my salty-tasting body meant
I first read this as out of my salty-tasting body MEAT
This Brendo Birthday Month thing makes me a little uncomfortable. Seems kinda Kim Jong Il-ish. How 'bout I donate a pile of Papa John's and a six pack to the Dana Farber Institute in your name, instead?
No way. I deserve to have a belly full of pizza and beer WAY more than those Jimmy Fund kids!
does that mean 31 birthday chokes...
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