Since I'm so exhausted from all my birthday drinkin', it's time for the feature of the Journal for which no one has any opinion whatsoever: the Friday Ripoff! Yup yup!
For today's edition of the Ripoff, I once again dip into the misery of others, as my boys Madden and Hogg were complaining about their lives, much to my unending amusement. So I share:
Madden: Man, I've just been so edgy lately. The only thing that makes me feel any better is to come home and beat the shit out of my cats.
Me: That's a reasonable solution.
Madden: I mean, look at them - meowing and pawing around the house like they're better than me.
Me: They are better than you, Madden.
Madden: Really?
Me: Sorry, but someone had to tell you.
Madden: Well... it softens the blow coming from a good friend, but it still hurts.
Hogg: So... my boss messed up our annual raises. Again.
Me: That sucks. She sounds pretty incompetent.
Hogg: Yeah, but on the bright side - if it weren't for her, I'd probably drink less and be happier.
Have a good weekend, all. Next week of Brendo Birthday Month is already starting to fill up, so be sure to book your time to buy me booze. It's quickly becoming America's pasttime.
For today's edition of the Ripoff, I once again dip into the misery of others, as my boys Madden and Hogg were complaining about their lives, much to my unending amusement. So I share:
Madden: Man, I've just been so edgy lately. The only thing that makes me feel any better is to come home and beat the shit out of my cats.
Me: That's a reasonable solution.
Madden: I mean, look at them - meowing and pawing around the house like they're better than me.
Me: They are better than you, Madden.
Madden: Really?
Me: Sorry, but someone had to tell you.
Madden: Well... it softens the blow coming from a good friend, but it still hurts.
Hogg: So... my boss messed up our annual raises. Again.
Me: That sucks. She sounds pretty incompetent.
Hogg: Yeah, but on the bright side - if it weren't for her, I'd probably drink less and be happier.
Have a good weekend, all. Next week of Brendo Birthday Month is already starting to fill up, so be sure to book your time to buy me booze. It's quickly becoming America's pasttime.
7 Comments:
It's true. The only things that bring me joy at work are reading Brendan's journal and downloading Scamper's new EP The Boulevards - available on iTunes, Rhapsody, and Napster.
Well... that and the booze I sneak into work.
Nice commercial, Hogg! Somebody's angling for a birthday gin and tonic.
Nothing brings me more joy than beating my cats to "Bruised By You"
Nothing brings me more joy than beating my cats to "Bruised By You"
classic.
you are a fucking idiot. and before you post a wiseass reply, let me say that your lead singer is married so you are all going nowhere. touring is not an opiton and therefore, stick with school.
anonymous...you're a douche. Ask people you know - they'll back me up on that.
you are a fucking idiot. and before you post a wiseass reply, let me say that your lead singer is married so you are all going nowhere. touring is not an opiton and therefore, stick with school.
This is the Hitler puppy, isn't it? Oh, Hitler puppy - so full of anger.
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