Just when I lose my faith in baseball's ability to entertain me, something like this happens. A pitcher arguing with a manager about being taken out of a game, leading to a nose-bloodying brawl in the dugout corridor. And they wonder why after all these years, baseball is still America's pasttime. Outstanding.
I've always enjoyed the pitcher-manager conversations on the mound. My dad makes the same joke every time a manager comes to the mound, imitating the manager: "So, have you got kids in private school? Want to keep them there?" Not a bad joke... the first 1,248 times you hear it. Still, it's nice to finally have a conference on the mound break out in a fight. Very satisfying.
Manager John Gibbons has really become quite the asset to the entertainment value of an otherwise unwatchable Blue Jays team. Earlier in the season, he challenged former Red Sox grumpy-puss Shea Hillenbrand to a fight. And now this - if I'm a Blue Jays fan, I've got reason to watch now. I only hope that this trend will spread a little further up the AL East ladder and we can watch Terry Francona throw a few right crosses upside Julian Tavares' pock-marked countenance. I don't know about you, but I'm tuning in for that shit, especially since we don't have a playoff hunt to worry our pretty little heads about anymore.
To me, the funniest part of the encounter (check it out on ESPN pretty much 24/7 at this stage) is that as Ted Lilly is walking off the mound, you can lip-read him shooting the final insult at Gibbons: "You're a fucking asshole."
Really, Ted? You're angry enough to punch your boss in the nose and the most extreme insult you can come up with is "fucking asshole"? Wow. You got him. I used to overhear my mom calling Ronald Reagan a "fucking asshole" when I was around eight or so and she wouldn't even bother lowering her voice to a whisper. That's how innoculous "fucking asshole" is. I'm pretty sure you can say "fucking asshole" in a rated PG movie now. Not exactly cutting to the bone, are we Ted? Ah well - you never had much of a fastball anyway, did you?
I guess what I'm saying is if I'm ready to get traded, show up the manager on national TV and basically throw my season away, I'd like to hope I could do a little better than "You're a fucking asshole." How about...
"Your scrotum appears to look like the scrotum of a much older man!" or...
"You're taking me out? Kind of like I took your wife out last night! Aw shoot! For dinner and then a movie! That's right, you heard me. We saw Little Miss Sunshine! Greg Kinnear was a delight!" or...
"Dude, what are we getting so worked up about? We're the fucking Blue Jays. The Special Olympics softball team has a more intimidating bullpen." or...
"Your finger smells like dude ass."
What about you guys? What would you say if the manager was pulling you out of the game? Huh?
I've always enjoyed the pitcher-manager conversations on the mound. My dad makes the same joke every time a manager comes to the mound, imitating the manager: "So, have you got kids in private school? Want to keep them there?" Not a bad joke... the first 1,248 times you hear it. Still, it's nice to finally have a conference on the mound break out in a fight. Very satisfying.
Manager John Gibbons has really become quite the asset to the entertainment value of an otherwise unwatchable Blue Jays team. Earlier in the season, he challenged former Red Sox grumpy-puss Shea Hillenbrand to a fight. And now this - if I'm a Blue Jays fan, I've got reason to watch now. I only hope that this trend will spread a little further up the AL East ladder and we can watch Terry Francona throw a few right crosses upside Julian Tavares' pock-marked countenance. I don't know about you, but I'm tuning in for that shit, especially since we don't have a playoff hunt to worry our pretty little heads about anymore.
To me, the funniest part of the encounter (check it out on ESPN pretty much 24/7 at this stage) is that as Ted Lilly is walking off the mound, you can lip-read him shooting the final insult at Gibbons: "You're a fucking asshole."
Really, Ted? You're angry enough to punch your boss in the nose and the most extreme insult you can come up with is "fucking asshole"? Wow. You got him. I used to overhear my mom calling Ronald Reagan a "fucking asshole" when I was around eight or so and she wouldn't even bother lowering her voice to a whisper. That's how innoculous "fucking asshole" is. I'm pretty sure you can say "fucking asshole" in a rated PG movie now. Not exactly cutting to the bone, are we Ted? Ah well - you never had much of a fastball anyway, did you?
I guess what I'm saying is if I'm ready to get traded, show up the manager on national TV and basically throw my season away, I'd like to hope I could do a little better than "You're a fucking asshole." How about...
"Your scrotum appears to look like the scrotum of a much older man!" or...
"You're taking me out? Kind of like I took your wife out last night! Aw shoot! For dinner and then a movie! That's right, you heard me. We saw Little Miss Sunshine! Greg Kinnear was a delight!" or...
"Dude, what are we getting so worked up about? We're the fucking Blue Jays. The Special Olympics softball team has a more intimidating bullpen." or...
"Your finger smells like dude ass."
What about you guys? What would you say if the manager was pulling you out of the game? Huh?
6 Comments:
I'd get on my knees like the crackhead in Menace 2 Society and offer free oral services to let me stay in the game.
"Grady, it's just Posada, leave me in..."
"Grady, it's just Posada, leave me in..."
Or maybe "So Dave Roberts stole second. What harm could it do? We've got this series in the bag."
Why would a pitcher say that to his manager? You just haven't been making sense lately, man.
Why would a pitcher say that to his manager? You just haven't been making sense lately, man.
Because the pitcher saw that the manager had a hangdog expression on his face so he wanted to make him feel better and assure him that Roberts' single stolen base wasn't going start a cascade of failure for their team that would end in them losing four straight playoff games.
Come on. Use your head, Vinny.
Truth to tell...with all the controversies surrounding Scamper's future, the fate of Red Sox nation, and of course my fear that John Mark Carr will fly to my hometown (based on the extensive coverage of FOX news) I'm feeling a bit down. I'd just like to express how I'm feeling right now with a video of one of my favorite artists. Please induldge me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9rBlIHBvwo
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