The last show of the Bill Janovitz and Crown Victoria residency at the Lizard Lounge was fan-freakin-tastic. Our boy Tommy Polce slapped those skins like only that glorious bastard can do. It was a loose night of half-learned classic rock covers - just an excellent time.
Of course, the highlight of the evening was the always-enthralling game of "Drunk Guy Argues with Sober Guy." Playing the role of the Sober Guy(s)? Introducing Nate and Mike! (applause) And the Drunk Guy? Well, that would be me. (awkward silence)
The subject of last night's druken debate: whether or not I should jump up on stage and sing harmonies with Bill and the band. Ooh - this one is lining up to be a doozy.
First, Nate and Mike present their well-reasoned "anti-singing" points:
- You just met Bill, so it's not like you're old buddies or he really has any idea who you are.
- It's bad manners to jump up on stage with another band.
- You're drunk. You have no problem making an ass of yourself when you're sober. Tonight, you might end up accidentally maiming someone.
Okay, so they made a strong case based on unfeeling, watertight logic. But before you decide who won the debate, let me present you with a few bullet points from my strong counterargument:
- Shut up, Nate and Mike. You're not the boss(es) of me.
- I'm Brendan from Scamper. I do what I want.
- Fuck you, Nate and Mike.
As you can see, it was a close call. But eventually, we erred on the side of caution and I elected to sit on my stage jones. I did, however, draw attention to myself by throwing a few choice heckles our producer's way: "Tom Polce is overrated!" and "You suck, you sack of shit!" were a few fan favorites.
That's right, I'm 30 years old, folks. Got to love maturity. Wave goodbye to birthday month today.
Of course, the highlight of the evening was the always-enthralling game of "Drunk Guy Argues with Sober Guy." Playing the role of the Sober Guy(s)? Introducing Nate and Mike! (applause) And the Drunk Guy? Well, that would be me. (awkward silence)
The subject of last night's druken debate: whether or not I should jump up on stage and sing harmonies with Bill and the band. Ooh - this one is lining up to be a doozy.
First, Nate and Mike present their well-reasoned "anti-singing" points:
- You just met Bill, so it's not like you're old buddies or he really has any idea who you are.
- It's bad manners to jump up on stage with another band.
- You're drunk. You have no problem making an ass of yourself when you're sober. Tonight, you might end up accidentally maiming someone.
Okay, so they made a strong case based on unfeeling, watertight logic. But before you decide who won the debate, let me present you with a few bullet points from my strong counterargument:
- Shut up, Nate and Mike. You're not the boss(es) of me.
- I'm Brendan from Scamper. I do what I want.
- Fuck you, Nate and Mike.
As you can see, it was a close call. But eventually, we erred on the side of caution and I elected to sit on my stage jones. I did, however, draw attention to myself by throwing a few choice heckles our producer's way: "Tom Polce is overrated!" and "You suck, you sack of shit!" were a few fan favorites.
That's right, I'm 30 years old, folks. Got to love maturity. Wave goodbye to birthday month today.
9 Comments:
Playing the role of the Sober Guy(s)? Introducing Nate and Mike!
That line is straight out of bizarro world.
I was just coming over to say, "Since when are Nate and Mike the sober ones?"
Because of this I'm betting you guys didn't even go to the show. This story is completely false.
Because of this I'm betting you guys didn't even go to the show. This story is completely false.
I was there. It happened.
I think Brendan is using "Sober Guy" as a relative term.
The band (Bill, Q Division Matt, Tom Tom, keyboard dude, sax dude, Mike Gent, cameos from Bill's brothers, etc.) were unreal.
Was sax dude a black guy?
If so, that's Elan Trotman and that guy is amazing.
I think Brendan is using "Sober Guy" as a relative term.
By my scale, the homeless guy peeing on the Starbucks dumpster outside was technically a "sober guy."
Moments after Brendan says he only has four dollars and can't afford another drink, he heads to the bar, five dollar bill in hand.
Nate: I thought you said you only had four dollars.
Brendan: I have four dollars budgeted for beer. It's in my budget.
Nate (slightly puzzled, shrugging it off): Okay.
Brendan (yelling): I HAVE A BUDGET!
Nate slinks away.
Man, I hate brendan
I hate him because he stole my heart... and my be-hymen.
Very kind sentiments, all. I also would have accepted "guy-men."
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