Did you guys know that you're supposed to show up for jury duty just because they say so? Were you guys aware of that? Even if you're a local rock hero - no special dispensation. It's a load of crap, I tell you.
Last week, I completely forgot to call in and see if my number was up. The next day, I stumbled across my reminder notice (which, not for nothing, completely failed in its duty to remind me) and quickly called the courthouse to tell them what a failure their shabby little "reminder" system had turned out to be.
Me: So yeah, I forgot to call in yesterday.
Court Lady: Did you get your Failure to Appear notice?
Me: Not yet. Is there a warrant out for me or anything?
Court Lady: (with perfect, yet unintentional comic timing) Not yet.
Imagine I get thrown in the clink for missing jury duty? How fucking lame would that be? I mean, I'm already WAY too pretty for jail. But when you toss in such a pussy reason for getting locked up as "missing jury duty"? I'd be like a small Caesar's salad appetizer to those dudes. They'd have to keep me out of gen pop to prevent those nasty goats from gnawing on my fresh verdant butthole.
Show up for jury duty, kids. That's the take-home here.
Last week, I completely forgot to call in and see if my number was up. The next day, I stumbled across my reminder notice (which, not for nothing, completely failed in its duty to remind me) and quickly called the courthouse to tell them what a failure their shabby little "reminder" system had turned out to be.
Me: So yeah, I forgot to call in yesterday.
Court Lady: Did you get your Failure to Appear notice?
Me: Not yet. Is there a warrant out for me or anything?
Court Lady: (with perfect, yet unintentional comic timing) Not yet.
Imagine I get thrown in the clink for missing jury duty? How fucking lame would that be? I mean, I'm already WAY too pretty for jail. But when you toss in such a pussy reason for getting locked up as "missing jury duty"? I'd be like a small Caesar's salad appetizer to those dudes. They'd have to keep me out of gen pop to prevent those nasty goats from gnawing on my fresh verdant butthole.
Show up for jury duty, kids. That's the take-home here.
7 Comments:
You have to admit it'd be pretty cool if you had to be replaced in the band because you were serving time.
I just got my first jury duty notice. It was supposed to be for December. I sent back my card, all set to do my civic duty. Then I got another card saying they no longer needed me. Am I lucky or unwanted?
Lucky. I'm ancient, and have only been called once. They pulled me for a trial, but I knew the guy who shot the guy, so they didn't want me. Most boring day ever.
I was once empanelled on a jury and got out of it by telling the judge and lawyers that had I loved police officers since I was a young child and would have a hard time being objective given my admiration for their profession.
It worked.
I know, I know...
Best. Story. Ever.
I knew the guy who shot the guy
Woah... You knew a guy who shot another guy? I'm impressed.
Jury duty. Whee.
I had that on 9/11, but it didn't last very long.
Too pretty for jail?
You're too modest, man. You'd cause riots and stuff. :P
I have jury duty on Monday. It is most likely a criminal case and seeing that I went to lawschool I would suprised if I got put on a trial. If I do, however, I will be sure to post all the details on this blog so we end up getting sequestered and I can get disbarred. Ahhh civic duty, disbarrment and imprisonment..What could be better?
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