Good morning and happy Monday, lovelies. My weekend gig opening for Gregg Allman at the Lovelane charity show was simply a blast. Some highlights:

- Sorry, classic rock fans: I didn't get to actually meet Gregg Allman. We did get to see him do his soundcheck, which was kind of like having a private little mini-show. It was pretty cool - the guy's voice is still pretty amazing.

But it's probably just as well that I didn't meet him - the only question I would have come up with is "How do you manage to get your magic sleigh to all the little boys' and girls' house in one night on Christmas Eve?" He's not looking so youthful and spry anymore is what I'm saying.

- During our set, the general "we don't get to play a lot of gigs" excitement set in pretty early for some of the band members (not that I'm looking in the drummer's direction or anything), so we ended up flying through our first 5 songs. This was a bit of a problem as we had almost 2 hours to fill and maybe 10 songs left in the set.

Realizing we needed to buy some time, Jordan and I secretly conspired to slow things down. Forty-two bar blues intros became the rule of the day. Much to the annoyance of some of my fellow musicians, I was forced to shift into full-on "long, lingering between-song banter" mode. Things were said. Feelings were hurt. I'd rather not discuss it further.

- Speaking of banter, I apparently made a bit of a boo-boo. For part of the charity event, all the best barbecue joints in the greater Boston area had booths set up for a taste test. Jake's Boss, Blue Ribbon, Redbones, M&M in Dorchester and You're Fired were all barbecuing their little hearts out.

As I was directing people to the barbecue in the back, I said "Personally, my favorite is Blue Ribbon with Jake's a close second. Redbones - I'm sorry. You guys have been coasting on reputation for way too long." Apparently, it's bad form to trash-talk a restaurant that's providing food at a charity event. Who knew?

Revenge was swiftly brought down upon my carcass at 2am the next morning, as some of the 10+ pounds of barbecue I had consumed didn't agree with me and I was hunched over my toilet bowl, getting all "Nicole Ritchie" on your asses. I don't have a problem. I'm pretty.

- If you're going to hang with a bunch of rich people and local celebrities, I highly recommend bringing the patented one-two Joe and Brendo combination with you. Let's just say that the odds of a "scene" are greatly increased. We were chatting with comic/actor Lenny Clarke about the Red Sox:

Lenny: I met Kapler. That guy's arms are huge. I told him that he can't even jerk off without ripping his dick off.
Joe: It's true, although I've got to tell you: when he gave me a handjob? Surprisingly gentle.

After getting a real, hearty laugh from Clarke, we were feeling all good about ourselves. So we approached hockey legend Cam Neely, who has got to be a leading contender in the "Nicest Guy in the World" competition. Which made me that much more of a dick for having the following exchange:

Cam: Hey guys, how's it going?
Joe: I've got to tell you - when I used to skate on the pond behind my house, I'd pretend I was you. I wanted to be you.
Cam: That's cool.
Joe: Of course, I didn't even make the high school hockey team.
Me: So what he's saying is that you're a failure as a role model.
Cam: Yeah, that's what I've heard.

You know what? I've got more stories from the Lovelane event, so I'm going to turn this one into a two-parter. Ooooooo.