Good morning, my scaly little love geckos. T-minus 2 days and counting until the Rockovember (Norocker? Novembrock?) Scamper flurry of shows begins. Here's how it breaks down:
Saturday International Pop Overthro-vember 4 - Paradise Lounge
Friday Drunken Sorority Ho-vember 10 - Boston University Central
Thursday Ok Go-vember 16 - Avalon
The Scamper marketing department worked overtime on those catchphrases. Hope you enjoyed them. You each owe us $12.95 just for reading that last paragraph. Sorry - someone's got to pay those guys' six-figure salaries.
In other news, I was near my ancestral home on the South Shore this weekend on my way to Madden's house for some serious nerding it up (Dungeons and Dragons, pocket protectors, sprouting acne - the whole nine). I tried to stop by a convenience store to pick up a bag of Doritos. Simple enough, right?
WRONG! I stopped at the first convenience store. No Doritos. Undaunted, I drove to the second. Once again - no Doritos. Wait a minute - I couldn't hit three convenience stores in a row without Doritos, could I? Why yes, yes I could. Not. Very. Convenient.
Finally, I found a 7-11 with a more-than-ample supply of Doritos. Exhausted and punch-drunk, I dropped to my knees and kissed Sully the overweight clerk's powder cheese-covered hand. Twenty-five minutes and $63 worth of gas later, my vision quest was complete. I had my Doritos.
Why do I bring this up? Well, those of you in Massachusetts may know that we've got a little election coming up next week. One of the propositions (#1, I think) will allow grocery stores to sell wine. The opponents of this proposition say that it will hurt the small business owner. What's my position on this complex and sensitive topic?
Fuck the small business owner. The small business owner can't even sell me a bag of Doritos when I want one. I had the money. I was ready to support their stupid little business, but nooooooo. They needed that shelf space for the 52 pounds of dried apricot that nobody wants! Stupid small businesses. Hate you.
Down with local businesses! Up with 7-11 and their wonderful, tasty Slurpees! Brendo for Senator!
Saturday International Pop Overthro-vember 4 - Paradise Lounge
Friday Drunken Sorority Ho-vember 10 - Boston University Central
Thursday Ok Go-vember 16 - Avalon
The Scamper marketing department worked overtime on those catchphrases. Hope you enjoyed them. You each owe us $12.95 just for reading that last paragraph. Sorry - someone's got to pay those guys' six-figure salaries.
In other news, I was near my ancestral home on the South Shore this weekend on my way to Madden's house for some serious nerding it up (Dungeons and Dragons, pocket protectors, sprouting acne - the whole nine). I tried to stop by a convenience store to pick up a bag of Doritos. Simple enough, right?
WRONG! I stopped at the first convenience store. No Doritos. Undaunted, I drove to the second. Once again - no Doritos. Wait a minute - I couldn't hit three convenience stores in a row without Doritos, could I? Why yes, yes I could. Not. Very. Convenient.
Finally, I found a 7-11 with a more-than-ample supply of Doritos. Exhausted and punch-drunk, I dropped to my knees and kissed Sully the overweight clerk's powder cheese-covered hand. Twenty-five minutes and $63 worth of gas later, my vision quest was complete. I had my Doritos.
Why do I bring this up? Well, those of you in Massachusetts may know that we've got a little election coming up next week. One of the propositions (#1, I think) will allow grocery stores to sell wine. The opponents of this proposition say that it will hurt the small business owner. What's my position on this complex and sensitive topic?
Fuck the small business owner. The small business owner can't even sell me a bag of Doritos when I want one. I had the money. I was ready to support their stupid little business, but nooooooo. They needed that shelf space for the 52 pounds of dried apricot that nobody wants! Stupid small businesses. Hate you.
Down with local businesses! Up with 7-11 and their wonderful, tasty Slurpees! Brendo for Senator!
1 Comments:
Communist!
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