Happy Friday and happy December, good people. Sorry to all of my readers out in the Midwest area. I hear you chumps have been hit with some ugly-ass snow storms. Wouldn't know what that's like - it was near 70 here in Boston the last few days. I spent yesterday soaping up my car wearing nothing but jean shorts and a halter top. While you were shoveling out the spokes of your Huffys, I was pressing my supple tits up against the windshield, much to the delight of both my pubescent and Viagra-ridden elderly neighbors. I was like Jessica Simpson in that video... except sexy!

I guess what I'm saying is: sucks to be you, snowbound suckaaaaaaaaaaaas! We in the Northeast will never get our come-uppance! Never!

Let me make a list: horrible image of me at a carwash? Check. Weather hubris that will offend the weather gods so much that they'll likely drop 49 inches of the evil white stuff in my driveway tomorrow morning? Check. Excessive and uncharacteristic overuse of exclamation points? Check!!!!!!!!111

Yup, that's just about all I've got for today. Have a nice weekend, all.