Pre-production update: it's T-minus 7 hours and counting to the inhuman brutality of the Tom Polce pre pro session. People, it's going to be a bloodbath. I'll give you an update tomorrow... if I survive.
Now, many of you are wondering how my participation in pre-production sessions is effected by the ongoing contract negotiations between Scamper management and my agent Big Phil. To catch you up, Scamper posted an exclusive negotiating fee of $312 and a coupon for a free Taco Bell chalupa. And that was just for the right to talk to me. I'm sort of a hot ticket.
The negotiations began in earnest with Scamper making a moderately generous offer to retain my services as the Boston area's sexiest and most incorrigible bassist. As a counter offer, my agent Big Phil responded by clogging Nate's toilet with a BM the size of a Sherman tank. Say what you will about Big Phil's tactics, but the man earns his 34%.
The heat is in Scamper's court now. That's right - I'm so confident about getting a good deal that I'm mixing metaphors. Scamper, Inc. is feeling such pressure to sign me that they have flown their executive board out on their private Scamper jet ("The Chartreuse Moose") to try to woo me with platters of Maine lobster covered in caramel and a bevy of past-their-prime strippers just hanging on long enough to make the last payment on that tanning bed.
Well, it's not going to work. I can't be bought off that easily. Okay, I can. But Big Phil is made of stronger stuff. And chocolate chip cookie dough.
I'm in a weird mood.
Now, many of you are wondering how my participation in pre-production sessions is effected by the ongoing contract negotiations between Scamper management and my agent Big Phil. To catch you up, Scamper posted an exclusive negotiating fee of $312 and a coupon for a free Taco Bell chalupa. And that was just for the right to talk to me. I'm sort of a hot ticket.
The negotiations began in earnest with Scamper making a moderately generous offer to retain my services as the Boston area's sexiest and most incorrigible bassist. As a counter offer, my agent Big Phil responded by clogging Nate's toilet with a BM the size of a Sherman tank. Say what you will about Big Phil's tactics, but the man earns his 34%.
The heat is in Scamper's court now. That's right - I'm so confident about getting a good deal that I'm mixing metaphors. Scamper, Inc. is feeling such pressure to sign me that they have flown their executive board out on their private Scamper jet ("The Chartreuse Moose") to try to woo me with platters of Maine lobster covered in caramel and a bevy of past-their-prime strippers just hanging on long enough to make the last payment on that tanning bed.
Well, it's not going to work. I can't be bought off that easily. Okay, I can. But Big Phil is made of stronger stuff. And chocolate chip cookie dough.
I'm in a weird mood.
4 Comments:
"I'm in a weird mood."
You think?
woo me with platters of Maine lobster
I was just telling someone about your "lobster is the kirsten dunst's vagina of food" today at work.
I still can't figure out if it's positive or negative towards either the lobster or kirsten dunst and her vagina.
I still can't figure out if it's positive or negative towards either the lobster or kirsten dunst and her vagina.
Positive all around.
For a while there you could google search "kirsten dunst vagina food" and Brendo's journal and my myspace page would come up as the top two hits. I've since fallen from the rankings but Brendo is still number one.
Post a Comment
<< Home