Good news for you fans of internet commerce: all of our songs are now available for purchase directly from our MySpace page. If you haven't spent 99 cents to support your local rock heroes, all you have to do is click on the little "myspace" button in the upper right hand corner of this page. Bingo bango bongo - just a dollar a pop. Come on... you have a dollar that you know you want to give to us. It's just burning a hole in your little pocket, isn't it?
Speaking of big money deals, you have probably read by now in most of your major media outlets that my superagent Big Phil and Scamper management finally came to an agreement on a blockbuster deal to keep yours truly in a Scamper uniform for a long time to come.
While it's always tacky to talk about money, here are the details of the most lucrative contract in Scamper history:
- 17 years/$428 million dollars (to be paid if I make it to my 112th birthday. Come on, science!)
- Keith is banned from ever saying the word "uvula" in a non-medical context. This was a sticking point with me.
- Each of the other members of the band has to refer to me as "Big Poppa Hoss" at least once per rehearsal, but it MUST sound completely natural and unforced or I get to punch Keith in the uvula.
- Big Phil is now majority owner of the XFL franchise the Las Vegas Outlaws (Shh... he doesn't know the league went under. I didn't have the heart to tell him).
- In the case of physical injury to my musical hands, there has been a large grant put aside to MIT to fit me with kick-ass bass-playing cyborg arms. I might use my super cyborg strength to fight crime. I can't wait. It's going to be fucking boss.
- Nate and Mike have to kiss whenever I say.
Overall, I'm happy with my deal and look forward to performing for the good people of Scamper Nation for a long time to come. Unless Big Phil thinks it's a good idea to renegotiate. Then, it's holdout city, plebes!
Speaking of big money deals, you have probably read by now in most of your major media outlets that my superagent Big Phil and Scamper management finally came to an agreement on a blockbuster deal to keep yours truly in a Scamper uniform for a long time to come.
While it's always tacky to talk about money, here are the details of the most lucrative contract in Scamper history:
- 17 years/$428 million dollars (to be paid if I make it to my 112th birthday. Come on, science!)
- Keith is banned from ever saying the word "uvula" in a non-medical context. This was a sticking point with me.
- Each of the other members of the band has to refer to me as "Big Poppa Hoss" at least once per rehearsal, but it MUST sound completely natural and unforced or I get to punch Keith in the uvula.
- Big Phil is now majority owner of the XFL franchise the Las Vegas Outlaws (Shh... he doesn't know the league went under. I didn't have the heart to tell him).
- In the case of physical injury to my musical hands, there has been a large grant put aside to MIT to fit me with kick-ass bass-playing cyborg arms. I might use my super cyborg strength to fight crime. I can't wait. It's going to be fucking boss.
- Nate and Mike have to kiss whenever I say.
Overall, I'm happy with my deal and look forward to performing for the good people of Scamper Nation for a long time to come. Unless Big Phil thinks it's a good idea to renegotiate. Then, it's holdout city, plebes!
2 Comments:
How much do we have to pay to keep Nate and Mike from kissing on stage?
How much do we have to pay to keep Nate and Mike from kissing on stage?
You may have to get your own superagent to work out that deal. Big Phil is spoken for. Maybe Drew Rosenhaus?
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