Fear not, true believers. Brendan Boogie is posting over at the new MySpace page. Check it out.
Friday, April 28, 2006
For once...

in my life...

I'm utterly speechless.

Thursday, April 27, 2006
I know you're all feeling the sting of the podcast season being over. What will you stick in your pink little ear canals for the next few months? Luckily, your boy Brendo has you covered:

- Penn Jillette of Penn and Teller has always been a bit of a hero of mine - he's gone from being just one of the funniest and most entertaining magicians of all time to one of the country's leading athiests, skeptics and bullshit debunkers. While his daily radio show covers many of these controversial topics and never fails to offer a well-reasoned and unique point of view, it's mostly laughs. Vegas stories, Sigfried and Roy jokes - and do NOT miss when Gilbert Gottfried stops by. In fact, that's a rule you should live by always.

- Jimmy Pardo: unless you're a big ol' comedy nerd like me, you probably haven't heard of Pardo, but he's one of the premier comics working today. His show is simply funny people being funny. It's a relatively new show, so it's tough to know how consistent it will be, but put a mic in front of a talented comic and you'll usually be ok. His is the second podcast of the burgeoning network over at A Special Thing, which is a site specifically tailored to pale, friendless comedy geeks such as your buddy here. But hey - you don't need to be nerdy to get your larf on. Who doesn't like a good larf, fa?

- Adam Carolla: if you only know Carolla from The Man Show or that crappy Comedy Central talk show, you've missed out on his true talents. When it comes to improv comedy on the radio, he's up there with Howard Stern. For reals. On his old Love Line show, he could make side-splitting 20-minute bits out of NOTHING. While he does five hours a day on the West Coast, for a while Free FM (CBS Radio) was only making 1-2 minute clips of the show available for download. Luckily, they've recently expanded that to 15-20 minutes a day, so you can truly get your Adam fix. Searchable on iTunes under his name, I believe.

I've only been listening for a few days and already been rewarded with a few Carolla gems:

"I've figured out my new porn name: Duke LaCrosse."

Talking to a Scientology expert: "I read about this silent birth and I'd like to somehow expand that into the 'silent marriage'."

So you guys are good and squared away with listening material. No complaining until the 2nd season starts, kay? Kay.

ADDENDUM: Hey kids, I don't usually add on to the journal this late in the day, but I just realized I neglected to mention something vaguely on subject - our new buddy Mach Bell from our 1st round Rumble co-horts Mach 5 hosts his first podcast on the history of Boston rock. Those into the local rock history should check it out - no one knows better than the man himself. The link is on the upper right corner of that page.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
How about that Jonathan Papelbon kid, eh? 9 out of 9 saves with a 0.00 ERA. Eh? Eh? That, plus a passing resemblance to Roger Clemens equals a guaranteed spot in the Hall of Fame. Don't be dicks, Cooperstown!

But more importantly, the fresh new Red Sox season means a fresh new batch of nicknames for the players. I've been off to a bit of a slow start this year, because Joe is too preoccupied with creating nicknames for his favorite Rochester Red Wings players (I have a sneaking suspicion that "Mrs." Garrett "from Diff'rent Strokes and then later The Facts of Life" Jones may be a hot prospect) to help out with any of the heavy lifting this summer.

So not only am I flying solo, but there's a whole new team of Sox with which to contend. A good nickname doesn't just happen overnight - you have to get a feel for the player and his abilities and personality. Then, the nickname has to filter through the synapses, double back on itself and become this completely nonsensical variation on the theme. It requires hours of free time and not a small amount of beer.

Let me give you an example of how this has worked in the past. Brian Daubauch was "Bullet." It's really simple if you think about it:

Daubach --> Dauber --> Pam Dawber of Mork and Mindy --> Pam Dawber's co-star in My Sister Sam was Rebecca Schaeffer --> who was tragically killed by a stalker --> who shot her with a --> Bullet.

So Brian Daubach is Bullet. Really, it just makes sense if you just put down that breakfast burrito and use your freakin' head for a minute.

This year's team has been a challenge, to say the least. There are a LOT of new players with VERY vanilla personalities. So far, Mark Loretta is "Mark Go-getta," which was a bit of a lay up. The only other one I have so far is Papelbon, which requires a bit more complicated back story:

You see, before everyone started calling David Ortiz "Big Papi," Joe and I had already christened him "Big Game Dave," which morphed into "BGD" and then became "BuhGuhDuh" and quickly morphed into "Boogie Down." So when the rest of Fenway is on their feet yelling for Ortiz "Let's go, Big Papi," I'm quietly repeating "Boogie Down" over and over to myself. So that clears things out for this year - when Jonathan Papelbon is on the hill for a tense save situation, I mutter four words to him:

Let's go, Big Papi.

But I need some help, people. Anyone been working on any nicknames for this year's Red Sox team? I'm drowning here.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
A couple of loose ends I wanted to tie up about the final episode of this season's podcast:

- Yes, there will be a second season.

- No, we don't know exactly when it will happen.

- Yes, we will hopefully try to have more creative produced bits (such as the fairy tale and "Nate Sets You Str8") next season. Lasting as long as we did in the Rumble was sort of unexpected and took over our lives a bit - hence broadcasting from a steamy man van for three straight episodes. But we certainly weren't able to do as much as we wanted. The second season will be even stronger and zexxxier.

- No, we didn't expect the staggering amount of listeners that we actually tricked into downloading the podcast. We were stunned, especially with the high international population of our listeners. So danke schoen or however you spell it.

- Yes, I am enjoying the predictable Tawny Kitaen meltdown on The Surreal Life this season. But in a surprising twist, I'm actually pulling for CeCe DeVille to stay sober. Who'd have thunk it?

- No, there is no God. Sorry.

Any other questions?
Monday, April 24, 2006
Good morning, monkees. We're back to normal in Scamper land after a furious and wholly unexpected 3 straight weeks of rocking your pants down around your ankles, exposing your pink and brown bottoms at which all the world could snicker.

Yeah, I'm still a little punchy. A lot to cover this morning. First off, when I think of the incredible outpouring of support that all the Scamper fans and friends showed us during all three rounds of this little doo-daddy known as the WBCN Rumble, the words "thank you" don't really seem to cut it. Your phone calls, your emails and above all your eardrum-shattering cheering during all three rounds - just incredible, guys. I owe each and every one of you an oatmeal raisin cookie or a foot massage from Mike (your choice).

The WBCN Rumble was a great experience, beginning to end for us. See - Scamper's dirty little secret during this whole experience was that we never actually considered this thing a "competition." If you think about it, the idea of value judging bands against each other on a points system is at best silly and at worst sort of fundamentally wrong. It's kind of like the Grammys or the Oscars or something similarly stupid - did winning an Oscar actually make A Beautiful Mind the "Best Picture" of that year? Of course not - that movie was a giant turd burrito covered in suck salsa whether it won a stupid award or not.

No, Scamper went into the Rumble with three goals: A) play our best show(s) to a whole bunch of people that had probably never heard us before, 2) do our best to foster a spirit of comraderie and good will amongst all the other bands with which we played and III) avoid bodily injury. While the third was a complete failure after the disastrous and blood-soaked preliminary round show, we were very happy with how everything else turned out.

If you've ever been in a band in Boston, you know that the BCN Rumble has a reputation for getting a little ugly. Sometimes, bands take the whole thing way too seriously, project juvenile rock star attitudes and even go so far as to try to sabotage their "competition." We were lucky enough to have a tremendously warm and friendly experience from beginning to end. We met a lot of great new fans and almost every member of all the bands we played with were amazingly terrific people. The bands Taxpayer, Mach 5 and We're All Gonna Die were particularly gracious. So we made some new friends with some great guys in great bands, which is very cool and doesn't always happen.

At the risk of overwhelming the rest of you with sugary sap, I'd also like to take this opportunity to publicly thank the members of my band. I'm really proud of how the guys conducted themselves throughout these past three weeks. In the face of pressure and negativity, they showed unbelievable class and character. Not that I was surprised in the least.

Okay, let's put this Rumble baby to rest. The final episode of this season's podcast is up and running, so check that poopie poop out. Now that things are a little more back to normal, this journal will return to its regularly scheduled crap tomorrow, covering such groundbreaking and controversial subjects as what I'm watching on television and what I think of aforementioned television programs.
Friday, April 21, 2006
Sorry - going to be another quick Friday morning one, as I'm busy doing my extensive calisthenics/high colonic routine that I do before every big show.

Tonight. Middle East Downstairs. Rumble finals. Be sure to get your tickets as early as you can, because this one's looking to be a popular one.

Seriously, the support and love of all the people that have been coming out and cheering us on has made this crazy rock and roll ride possible. We already feel like the luckiest guys in town. Let's go do this!

In other news, the sweet new products keep rolling in from the factory. First, there was yesterday's "HolmesStain" t-shirt (sure to be a hot item at Christmas). Now, check this shit out that my boy Madden made. That's right - those are actually legal stamps you can buy. We'll be using them to send congratulations notes to the winner of tonight's Rumble.

The Rudds? Campaign for Real Time? What do you guys think? And be nice.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
It's the 20th of April. Happy Hitler's birthday and anniversary of Columbine and the Oklahoma City bombing and I'm sure most every other horrible tragedy that's happened throughout recent history. Let's cross our fingers and hope all the angry teenagers and white supremacists out there take it easy today, huh? As Vinny Shit on the Face would say, "Fucking white people, man."

If you haven't seen it yet, Henry Beguiristain from Aloud has once again masterminded another gem for our internet pleasure. In his twisted mind, it is HE not Tom Cruise who should rightfully be shooting genetic sludge deep into Katie Holmes' womanly crevice. And I agree - TomKat's got nothing on HolmesStain. Henry feels so strongly about it, he even made a t-shirt to promote the idea. That you can actually purchase. For reals.

I expect this little item to outsell all actual Aloud merchandise in droves.

T minus one day until the big Rumble finals. Get your tickets early - the other dude from the Foo Fighters is headlining. No, not that dude. The OTHER dude. He's just as handsome (if not more so) than the main dude, though.

Who's excited, bitches?
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
In all the excitement and hub bub (more bub than hub, really) of this weekend, I neglected to wish The Comedy Studio a happy 10th anniversary. Rick Jenkins turned a one-night-a-week alternative comedy room into what has been hailed nationwide as the best comedy club in the country. As the stand-up connoisseur that I am, I cannot highly enough recommend stopping by the Studio pretty much any night of the week. You'll be treated to a hilarious mix of original comic voices, both young and veteran. And they have scorpion bowls that'll lower your sperm count.

I first stopped by the Studio a couple of years ago because I read on Louis CK's website that he'd be dropping by for a guest set. While I was waiting for Louis, I had my first encounter with the insanity that is Walsh Brothers. I was hooked. The next time I saw the Walshes, I was treated to Tim McIntire. So I went back for seconds of the McIntire drug and was fed a healthy dose of Robby Roadsteamer. Then, I'd see Myq Kaplan, Val Kappa, the Steamy Bohemians and so on an so on. I am now a pathetic Studio groupie. So happy anniversary, Rick! You're stuck with me now.

But sorry, people - you can't go by the Studio this Friday night. You have other plans.

I also neglected to mention yesterday that Episode 1.11 of the podcast is up and running, featuring my exclusive interview with Alena. Forget the TomKat baby - you can only get the real hot scoop on the Scamper Podcast.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Eesh. Wow. What a weekend, friends.

So on Friday, we won our Rumble semifinal night, resulting in many fantastic and unforseen outcomes, not the least of which was a large, full color version of our ridiculous Sears photo appearing in yesterday's Boston Herald. I've seen the photo online, but it's a whole new ballgame to have our silly faces staring back at me in oversized, discolored ink. We can die happy now.

Speaking of happy, we couldn't be happier with the results of Saturday night's semifinals: The Rudds! Whoo-eee! And we just found out on Sunday night that the wild card band will be the Campaign for Real Time! Rematch time! We hope that the always lively C4RT fans don't eat us alive. The Rumble is a dog-eat-dog world and Scamper is wearing Milkbone underwear.

Seriously, you guys are really going to enjoy this show. A lot of Rumble finals end up with three completely disparate bands that have the audience members looking at each other and mouthing "Whaaaaaaaaa?" If you're a Scamper fan, I would be utterly shocked if you don't also enjoy the Rudds and C4RT. There's a spirit of showmanship and fun that connects the three bands and should result in a terrific show. So we're beyond excited to play.

What's even more exciting? I somehow ended up on a Subaru owner's message board. I have no idea how this happened, but again, I couldn't be prouder. Scamper's in the Rumble finals, the Sox win with a walk-off homer on Patriot's Day, Subaru owners are making fun of me - everything's coming up Milhouse!

Man, how many TV references am I going to make this morning? Lazy writing, friends. My apologies.
Friday, April 14, 2006
Quick one today as I have to throw my tax returns in the mail and then head over to sound check. The Rumble show is tonight. Get your tix now - I think you can get them over at the Middle East website.

Sorry, but that's all I've got for you this morning, puppies. It's a big night and we're excited to be playing again. Roll call - who's coming?

Shortest. Post. Ever.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
You know, I learned something yesterday. Throughout the 300+ entries on this here journal, I have discussed a lot of topics: news, politics, sports, world affairs, music. But judging by the sheer volume of comments on yesterday's post, there's nothing about which you people care more passionately than a war between two cartoon shows. And for that I salute you.

But now is the time on Sprockets where we pimp our show at the Middle East tomorrow. Check out all the details and all the bands playing over at The Scene. Although we have a very strong lineup on Friday night, I'm almost a little more excited about the Saturday show. That show features three of my favorite bands in Boston (The Rudds, Taxpayer and Harris) along with Eyes Like Knives, who I've never seen but about whom I've heard great things.

If you're planning on coming to show Friday night, I suggest you get your tickets early. While it's not sold out yet, this one may be a tough one to just "drop by," you casually cool hepsters, you.

But back to the important shit: cartoons. I think King of the Hill might be one of the more underrated shows of all time. It's got a unique voice and manages to have some outrageous and surprising humor without resorting to shock tactics. I'm also very impressed with how Mike Judge et al manage to have fun with the "red state" traditional values of their characters without demeaning them.

But probably the thing I most admire about the show is that Bobby Hill's career ambition is to be a prop comic. That shit just kills me. Thoughts? King of the Hill vs. Futurama?
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
From last week's South Park:

Kyle: You should like that show. Your sense of humor is just like Family Guy.

Cartman: [gets off his Big Wheels, his anger sudden and strong, and walks up to Kyle] Don't you EVER, EVER, compare me to Family Guy! You hear me Kyle??!! Compare me to Family Guy again, and so help me I will kill you where you stand! [turns and goes back to his Big Wheels]

Kyle: [realizes Cartman's true intent] You unbelievable son of a bitch. You never cared about the Muslim religion. Or the safety of people in America. You just want Family Guy off the air!

Cartman: Do you have any idea what it's like?! Everywhere I go, "Hey Cartman, you must like Family Guy, right?" "Hey, your sense of humor reminds me of Family Guy, Cartman." [turns and faces Kyle] I am NOTHING like Family Guy! When I make jokes, they are inherent to a story! Deep, situational and emotional jokes based on what is relevant and has a POINT! Not just one interchangeable joke after another!!


Preach on, my fat racist friend. It's nice to finally hear someone else express what I've been feeling about Family Guy for years. When I tell people I don't like that show, they are genuinely shocked. "But... I just assumed you like Family Guy. It's totally your kind of sense of humor."

No, no it really isn't. It's completely self-indulgent and show-offy writing which gives the impression of a bunch of Ivy League Lampoon cast-offs sitting around a room trying to prove to America how edgy they are. I get it - William Shatner references are hilarious, guys. Well done.

On the other hand, South Park has been consistently relevant, original and flat-out funny for ten years or so now. The fact that the show still maintains its high quality with essentially one writer (from what I can gather Trey Parker's back must be aching from carrying Matt Stone for all this time) after all these years is simply astounding.

On a broader scale, I look at South Park as an blue print of how to really use free speech in a creative way. Parker and Stone are utterly fearless and cut through the bullshit that usually litters our public discourse with a fart-joke laser. And they use an eight-year old as their mouthpiece. Such a brilliant twist. I know this sounds utterly ridiculous, but when I watch South Park, it's one of the few things that actually makes me feel a little patriotic.

When I watch Family Guy, I feel like a bunch of smart asses are trying to show me how smart they are.

So that's where I stand on this oh-so-important South Park vs. Family Guy issue. Part two of the episode airs tonight. Thoughts, counterpoints?
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Good morning, friends. Well, it's the Red Sox home opener, so what better time to make ridiculous, baseless predictions about the upcoming season? Let's start with the National League, about which I know next to nothing:

NL East: Atlanta Braves (because they always win and they're always-winning jerks)

NL Central: St. Louis Cardinals (because Albert Pujols is part cyborg)

NL West: San Diego Padres (because everyone else in the division sucks rotten cow ass)

NL Wild Card: I'm going to pull a sentimental pick and go with the New York Mets and my boy Petey.

AL East: Gots to pick the Yankees until they prove otherwise. I know it's an "en vogue" to say this is the year that the Sox (or worse the Blue Jays) topple the AL East champions, but I just can't see it happening with Johnny Damon at the top of that line-up. They're going to score more than Nate in an alley behind a Click Five concert.

AL Central: Going to go with the upset here and pick the Cleveland Indians over the defending world champion Chicago White Sox. Side bet: Ozzie Guillen will threaten someone's life this season and be dead serious about it.

AL West: Anaheim will be strong most of the season, but Oakland will make a characteristic August and September surge and take the division. This Oakland pitching staff is nastier than Nate's underwear in an alley behind a Click Five concert.

AL Wild Card: Red Sox will fit in here because of a late White Sox collapse and the fact the Jonathan Papelbon's splitter makes me harder than Nate in an alley... okay, I'm done.

As ridiculous as it is to pick a World Series winner in April, I'm not afraid to go on record: Oakland over the Mets.

Who's going to stop me? No one can. So don't even try.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Relive the grandeur of it all with Episode 1.10 of the Scamper Podcast, which is up now for your listening pleasure right over hnyaw.

Congrats to our buddy bands Harris and The Rudds for advancing into the second round of the Rumble. And we were happy to learn last night that our one-time bitter rivals Taxpayer snagged one of the wild card spots and will be playing on Saturday night. The second round of the Rumble is fixing to be quite the pair of shows. Check out the lineups over at the WBCN site.

Speaking of the Rudds, thanks to the few and the proud who joined our two bands (along with the flamboyant Sidewalk Driver) at Brandeis University on Friday night. It was a small, but enthusiastic turn out and the nice young ladies were even patient enough not to walk out in disgust or storm the stage in anger during my unexpected five-minute "College girls have ruined lesbianism" tirade.

It's true though, girls. It's over. Your fake lesbianism has flooded the market. The thrill is gone. And don't fool yourselves into thinking you're being liberal or progressive or open-minded. There's nothing liberating about it - it's just another attempt to get guys to like you. It's gotten to the point where the term "bisexual girl" has become redundant. It's just "girl" now. Let. It. Go.

Shocking that we played to an empty room while I was dropping these little gems of wisdom on the kids, huh?
Friday, April 07, 2006
Quick reminder - check us out at Chum's at Brandeis tonight.

Now, remember my friend the lovely Dawn who wowed us all not only with her deep sultry eyes, but also her deep, sultry understanding of the NFL salary cap and her devotion to Bill Belichick a few weeks back? I know the Big Cat's getting all hot and bothered just thinking about it.

Sorry fellas, but sadly Dawn has a better half - my good friend Jim who just happens to work in the same building as me. This morning, Jim cemented himself in work history as the most entertaining maniacal genius of all time.

Much to my immeasurable pleasure, I found this little gem in my inbox this morning. I must emphasize that this email was sent to the entire building - over a hundred people. I felt the need to share it in its entirety:

I am sorry to waste all of your time, as I am certain it is only one bad apple spoiling the barrel; but someone has woken this sleeping dog.

I know we have seen this email before... "Whoever keeps eating my food, please stop." Well there is no "please" in my version. There is a story, and a threat. That is right, I used the word "threat" --a word that when used in 2006 often results in the SWAT Team arriving at your place of work.

First the context: I am getting married this summer, and my intention is to lose some weight. That means less bagels from Dunkin Donuts, and more yogurt, fat free plain yogurt to be exact. You have to have a reason to eat this stuff; it is not like any rational human likes this gruel. I bring one large tub in a week. I put my name on it (in indelible marker) and consume it within the week. I do not buy the little ones because they cost more and I forget them in the morning (and frankly they are easier for you little vermin to steal). I buy my tub on Sunday, bring it in on Monday and throw it out on Friday. Real simple plan right? Wrong!

I have been noticing that the level of my yogurt has been going down in the tub faster than I eat it. That is right; someone is nibbling at my gruel. Am I nuts? Maybe, so I start marking the height of my yogurt on the container. Does yogurt evaporate? Not this quickly!

Now in case we have forgot, we are now talking about a large tub of non-fat, plain, looks-like-prison-slop yogurt in a tub with my name on the top and levels marked on the side (in indelible marker).

Now we come to this morning. I am hungry. I am wasting away. I am going to eat my gruel. I don't see my yogurt. I dig through the bags and the Tupperware... nothing! Someone has finished my Friday serving. Now I am hungry; and, well I won't use the other words; but you get the picture.

I am putting it out there right now. I am going to put decoy yogurt in this fridge. Whoever you are, you tasteless-slurry thief, one day you will eat from the wrong container. Imagine your delight when you see a nice new score in the fridge, a virgin tub of yogurt. Not just any yogurt, but the good stuff. We are talking 100% pure, uncut organic yogurt... maybe with blueberries and those crunchy things that you see packaged on the lid. Maybe you'll try to resist, but we all know you can't. You have a problem.

Do you do it for a thrill? Try robbing a bank.

Do you have a sugar imbalance? Suck on a sugar packet.

Are you broke? The building can take up a collection, or maybe the "bank" thing can kill two birds.

Just be aware that when you dip your spoon in your next ill-gotten booty and you raise your hand to your lips, trembling with anticipation, that this might be the day that your thieving ways catch-up to you. I am well versed in revenge. You may have just eaten the dregs from my fish aquarium; do you know how much excrement a goldfish can produce in a day? You may have just begun a three-day hallucination of the best peyote you can find in Somerville. Maybe it Elmer's Glue (non toxic); I don't know yet, and neither do you.

Thank you for your time.

-Jim


You read that right. Jim threatened to poison the entire building for eating his yogurt. Sometimes you come into work and suddenly, it's a good day.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
The WBCN Rumble show is still over a week away and I've already embarrassed myself.

When we found out we were advancing, I emailed the members of Appomattox and The Campaign for Real Time to tell them how excited we were to play with them and also to ask their permission to play their music on the podcast (Episode 10 of which will be posted on Monday). Both bands were very cool about the whole thing. So I'm emailing back and forth with Brendan from C4RT and telling him how their music sounds great and we can't wait to hear them live, etc.

He responds: "You know, just throwing it out there... but we played the same Damone residency show as you guys back in the fall."

And... I'm a jackass. Turns out that we have played with them and I have met them before and I'm just a giant douchebag. See? This is why the band doesn't usually allow me to email people or generally communicate with the outside world at all. I hope C4RT wipe the floor with us on the 14th. At the very least, they win the Coolest Acronym in Boston Award.

Don't forget about the Brandeis show tomorrow night, all you Brandeisians. Or is it Brandeisologists? The Rudds will be there and so will Sidewalk Driver.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Look at that, Bostonians - Scamper wins a round of the BCN Rumble and hell freezes over. It's freakin' snowing outside in April. What the fizzy lifting drink is going on in the world?

I just wanted to mention really quickly how great you've all been in your effusive congratulations for advancing in the Rumble on Monday night. I don't think I've ever gotten so many nice emails, text messages and phone calls in my life - and I have TONS of friends. I'm quite well-liked in most circles. But seriously, thank you all for your good cheer. Means a lot.

It's very exciting to watch the results come in from the other Rumble "competitions," now that we actually have an interest in with whom we're playing. The Campaign for Real Time won the Sunday night competition (and absolutely wowed the audience, from what I heard). Last night's winner was Appomattox, about whom I don't know much. They apparently kicked ass as well. The fourth band on our night will be selected as one of the two "wild cards" from the first round.

So check those bands out and get ready to rock out at the semi-finals which I believe fall on Friday April 14th. I'm told by my non-lapsed Catholic friends that this is Good Friday. In honor of that sacred day, I will be crucifying a Jew (Keith) in front of an angry mob at the Middle East. Since he's only half-Jewish, I should save on nails. (rim shot)

Speaking of the chosen people, we will be playing at Brandeis University on Friday night with our buddies (and the chosen favorites to take the whole damn Rumble) The Rudds and Sidewalk Driver.

Anyone have a bass I can borrow? Mine's still crapped out from Monday and I think the Brandeis kids are going to want to hear a little bass.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Jebus dandy delolly.

We actually won.

I know, I know - we're as shocked as you are. I'm still a little exhausted from celebrating with all the groupies and the coke, but I'll tell you - it was a pretty wild ride. The amazing thing is that EVERYTHING that possibly could have gone wrong during our set went wrong. A few lowlights:

- Early in the set, Nate whacked himself off the face and was slowly streaming blood from the bridge nose.

- Some weird shooting pain attacked Mike's right wrist midway through the set, making it excruciatingly painful for him to grip his drumstick.

- The screw holding my bass strap on decided to pick the middle of the third song to pop the fuck out, rendering it useless. I spent the the last choruses of "Wait Wait" on my knees singing into a very low mic stand, blowjob style.

When I got up from my knees, I was unable to continue the set. I was fully prepared to do a 20-minute impromptu standup comedy act while Mike, Nate and Keith played atmospheric music behind me (it's happened in rehearsal, so I wasn't too worried). Luckily, the good people in the band Taxpayer handed me their bass and saved Scamper's set. It was unbelievably nice of them. In fact, all three of the bands with whom we played (Mach 5 and Plan B being the other two) were the nicest, most gracious people with whom we've ever shared the stage.

After the show but before the winner was announced, I was talking to the other Scamper members and we were commenting how genuinely happy we would be for whoever was going to win. They were all just great bands with great bunches of guys. I'm not even bullshitting or asskissing or whatever. Quality human beings all around.

A lot of bands I've talked to have had bad experiences in the Rumble, with other bands backbiting and trying to sabotage each other. I went in to the first round with two goals: to play the best show we could and to foster a positive environment playing with the other bands. Check plus on both counts. The fact that we won is a bonus (of course), but I would have walked out of there with the exact same feeling even if we hadn't. I swear. We just couldn't have asked for a better Rumble experience.

Of course, you guys in the audience were off the fucking scale terrific. We felt so much love and support from you - your fun and energy carried us through a very stressful and difficult set. So thank you guys so much - once again, we are in complete awe of you.

And we get to do it all again next week. See you in the semis, bitches.

More important than all this self-congratulatory Rumble bullshit - happy birthday to Scamper's better half, Alena! We don't deserve someone as amazing as you as our band wife.
Monday, April 03, 2006
The day has finally arrived, kittens. The WBCN Rumble is tonight. Middle East Upstairs, 9pm. Scamper goes on at exactly 10:40pm and plays for exactly a half hour. We'll be informed that we lost the contest at exactly 11:11pm, so you should be there to buy us sympathy drinks and give Keith comforting hoogs.

I was informed that while we're not competing with Red Sox opening day (2:05pm), we ARE in fact competing with the NCAA men's basketball finals. Come on - who cares about a bunch of 20-year olds jumping around on a court. It's much more preferable to watch a bunch of 30-year olds jump around on a stage. Anyway, UCLA's got it in the bag and George Mason killed your bracket weeks ago.

Quick mention - the Reverend Tim McIntire's new CD is absolutely fucking hilarious. If you've never bought a stand-up comedy CD, this is a great place to start. The final "hidden" track is a full set of him bombing his ass off at some hunter's club gig. It's the most heroic thing I've ever heard in my life. Check out the CD at www.reverendtim.com

Gotta make it a short one today as we have an absurdly early load-in and I must start my meditation process now to get in a state of cat-like readiness. See you all tonight, fans!