Time for another weekend of playoff football. Last week, I went 3 for 4, although that Dallas game was a flukity fluke fluke. So gentlemen, start your wagering!
Saturday:
AFC Divisional Game #1: Indianapolis Colts at Baltimore Ravens
I don't know, kids. I'm sniffing a bit of an upset here. Colts quarterback Peyton Manning doesn't usually royally choke until everyone expects him to win. I'm getting this eerie feeling in the pit of my scrotie that since the Colts are already underdogs, losing this game wouldn't be emotionally devastating enough for Mr. Commercial Face. Last week, the Colts looked pretty solid. I feel like they need another solid game so that the press can start sucking Manning's proverbial johnson for a while.
THEN he chokes.
Prediction: Colts: 13 - Ravens: 10
NFC Divisional Game #1: Philadelphia Eagles at New Orleans Saints
Hey, do you guys remember that hurricane that hit New Orleans that caused a bunch of poor people to be homeless and the federal government basically left Americans to die and a whole bunch of shit was supposed to hit the fan and people were going to get fired and then Kanye West said President Bush hated black people and we all thought that was wicked hilarious and then some other stuff happened that I don't remember? What ever happened with that?
The people of New Orleans' pain ends this Saturday.
Prediction: Saints: 21 - Eagles: 14
Sunday:
AFC Divisional Game #2: New England Patriots at San Diego Chargers
Grrr... argh... so hard to pick this game... Tomlinson is so good... rahaarrr... Belichick and Brady crush in the playoffs... Marty Schottenheimer is terrible in the playoffs... graahaarassar... don't want to jinx Pats... but what about a reverse jinx or the dreaded "triple double reverse jinx with a side order of potato salad"... GAH! CAN'T PICK! WHY IS LIFE SO HARD ALL THE TIME?
Okay, I'm going to be a man and make a pick. Last night, I had a dream that a last-minute blocked field goal attempt gave the Patriots a 23-21 victory. But my dreams NEVER come true. Have I ever met Ponch and/or Jon? I don't think so.
So as much as it pains me to do so, I'm naturally going to assume that my subconscious mind had the right score, but the wrong team. I'm sorry, Boston.
Prediction: Chargers: 23 - Patriots: 21
NFC Divisional Game #2: Seattle Seahawks at Chicago Bears
This game seems to be the upset pick du jour among the spundits. People are spending a lot of time armchair psychoanalyzing Bears quarter back Rex Grossman, so much so that they've fooled themselves into believing the Seahawks have a chance. No way - the Bears are the far superior team. This one is going to be a romp.
However, Rex Grossman does have a case of borderline personality disorder with a hint of restless leg syndrome.
Prediction: Bears: 24 - Seahawks: 10.
Have a great long weekend, friends. Talk to you again on Tuesday.
Saturday:
AFC Divisional Game #1: Indianapolis Colts at Baltimore Ravens
I don't know, kids. I'm sniffing a bit of an upset here. Colts quarterback Peyton Manning doesn't usually royally choke until everyone expects him to win. I'm getting this eerie feeling in the pit of my scrotie that since the Colts are already underdogs, losing this game wouldn't be emotionally devastating enough for Mr. Commercial Face. Last week, the Colts looked pretty solid. I feel like they need another solid game so that the press can start sucking Manning's proverbial johnson for a while.
THEN he chokes.
Prediction: Colts: 13 - Ravens: 10
NFC Divisional Game #1: Philadelphia Eagles at New Orleans Saints
Hey, do you guys remember that hurricane that hit New Orleans that caused a bunch of poor people to be homeless and the federal government basically left Americans to die and a whole bunch of shit was supposed to hit the fan and people were going to get fired and then Kanye West said President Bush hated black people and we all thought that was wicked hilarious and then some other stuff happened that I don't remember? What ever happened with that?
The people of New Orleans' pain ends this Saturday.
Prediction: Saints: 21 - Eagles: 14
Sunday:
AFC Divisional Game #2: New England Patriots at San Diego Chargers
Grrr... argh... so hard to pick this game... Tomlinson is so good... rahaarrr... Belichick and Brady crush in the playoffs... Marty Schottenheimer is terrible in the playoffs... graahaarassar... don't want to jinx Pats... but what about a reverse jinx or the dreaded "triple double reverse jinx with a side order of potato salad"... GAH! CAN'T PICK! WHY IS LIFE SO HARD ALL THE TIME?
Okay, I'm going to be a man and make a pick. Last night, I had a dream that a last-minute blocked field goal attempt gave the Patriots a 23-21 victory. But my dreams NEVER come true. Have I ever met Ponch and/or Jon? I don't think so.
So as much as it pains me to do so, I'm naturally going to assume that my subconscious mind had the right score, but the wrong team. I'm sorry, Boston.
Prediction: Chargers: 23 - Patriots: 21
NFC Divisional Game #2: Seattle Seahawks at Chicago Bears
This game seems to be the upset pick du jour among the spundits. People are spending a lot of time armchair psychoanalyzing Bears quarter back Rex Grossman, so much so that they've fooled themselves into believing the Seahawks have a chance. No way - the Bears are the far superior team. This one is going to be a romp.
However, Rex Grossman does have a case of borderline personality disorder with a hint of restless leg syndrome.
Prediction: Bears: 24 - Seahawks: 10.
Have a great long weekend, friends. Talk to you again on Tuesday.
6 Comments:
Tell us more about your haircut.
Tell us more about your haircut.
It's short. But it will grow in.
Did you play football as a kid? I bet you didn't because your non stop talking would of made your team want to kill you.
your non stop talking would of made your team want to kill you
would have made his team want to kill him
I think it's important to point out what a terrible prognosticator you are, Brendan. First of all, the final score was 24-21 Pats, not 23-21, and the last-second field goal attempt was missed, not blocked.
Memo to your subconscious: you'll never make it in Vegas.
I will admit that while watching the game I made a mental note to never trust your judgement on anything ever again.
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