Some bad news, rock fans. Our boy Joe (smelly lead guitarist from the now legendary defunct Boston band Fooled By April) had a bit of an accident while he was doing some roof repairs to his new house and fell about ten feet off a ladder on top of his wife Sarah, completely shattering his left elbow and sending him into "pain like I've never known." He goes into surgery this afternoon to have pins inserted in the bone, so let's send him some good vibes.

I spoke to Joe last night and he's in good spirits, although that was probably the painkillers talking because Joe is hardly ever in good spirits. But there are a few good things to come out of this otherwise bummer of an accident.

First, from what the doctors can tell, there will be some permanently lost range of motion but his pyrotechnic guitar playing style should be ultimately unaffected after he heals up in a few months. In fact, if anything the surgery will make him even more wankier. It's simple science, people.

More importantly - despite having 200+ lbs of falling JDog crashing down on her, Sarah was remarkably completely unharmed. And let's face it - she's always been the Loggins to Joe's Garfunkel. She's been carrying that couple for years.

And now that we know everyone is basically okay, we can openly mock him for falling off a ladder on top of his wife. It's a great visual, really. I like to imagine it with a silent movie-style piano playing in the background. But you could also go with the Three Stooges or Looney Tunes theme. You know - it's a personal taste thing.

Finally, in a bit of "good news/bad news" - I checked with the doctors and they are not (I repeat, not) going to fit Joe with either a cool bionic robot arm or the transplanted limb of a serial killer/chronic masturbator. Wouldn't that make a great movie? A guy gets a transplanted arm that won't leave his junk alone? Get me one of the Warner brothers on the phone.

Get well soon, douchebag.