Since we're talking about baseball, I just wanted to point something out for those of you who didn't know:
The Yankees suck.
To be clear, I don't mean that in a boring "Sully, Murph and the other Sully getting drunk and chanting 'Yankees suck!' at the Cask 'N Flagon in the middle of February before they try to date rape the leather-skinned waitress with the gross Tara Reid smoker voice" kind of way. I'm so over that. My irrational hatred of the Yankees magically disappeared on a glorious October evening back in 2004 while watching them lose four games in a row.
No, from a completely (ok, somewhat) objective point of view, this year the Yankees actually really do suck.
You know who the Yankees Opening Day starter is? Carl "I Had Exactly One Good Season That Just Happened To Be In My Free Agency Year" Pavano. While it isn't fair or accurate to judge the entire pitching rotation on who happens to be Opening Day starter, this is the first year in a while the Yankees have begun the season without a bona fide ace on their staff. On a team that has always boasted strong rotations, we've got the geriatric combination of Andy Pettite and Mike Mussina along with Chien-Ming Wang and their copycat version of a Japanese import Kei Igawa. Not shabby, but certainly not intimidating.
On offense, they don't look all that improved. The major 1-2 run production combo is Alex Rodriguez and Jason Giambi - again, not the shabbiest duo in the world, but both are streaky and unsteady. Robinson Cano is an impressive young player, but the lineup just doesn't have that "We'll kill you from 1 to 9" feeling that Yankee teams in the past have had.
As they usually do, I'm sure the Yankees will spend whatever it takes to get the most premier arms and bats on the market to fill out their roster of all-stars. But for now, as of this moment (and you know how it pains me to say this) - boy oh BOY do the Yankees suck.
And Jeter licks A-Rod. Or something gay like that.
The Yankees suck.
To be clear, I don't mean that in a boring "Sully, Murph and the other Sully getting drunk and chanting 'Yankees suck!' at the Cask 'N Flagon in the middle of February before they try to date rape the leather-skinned waitress with the gross Tara Reid smoker voice" kind of way. I'm so over that. My irrational hatred of the Yankees magically disappeared on a glorious October evening back in 2004 while watching them lose four games in a row.
No, from a completely (ok, somewhat) objective point of view, this year the Yankees actually really do suck.
You know who the Yankees Opening Day starter is? Carl "I Had Exactly One Good Season That Just Happened To Be In My Free Agency Year" Pavano. While it isn't fair or accurate to judge the entire pitching rotation on who happens to be Opening Day starter, this is the first year in a while the Yankees have begun the season without a bona fide ace on their staff. On a team that has always boasted strong rotations, we've got the geriatric combination of Andy Pettite and Mike Mussina along with Chien-Ming Wang and their copycat version of a Japanese import Kei Igawa. Not shabby, but certainly not intimidating.
On offense, they don't look all that improved. The major 1-2 run production combo is Alex Rodriguez and Jason Giambi - again, not the shabbiest duo in the world, but both are streaky and unsteady. Robinson Cano is an impressive young player, but the lineup just doesn't have that "We'll kill you from 1 to 9" feeling that Yankee teams in the past have had.
As they usually do, I'm sure the Yankees will spend whatever it takes to get the most premier arms and bats on the market to fill out their roster of all-stars. But for now, as of this moment (and you know how it pains me to say this) - boy oh BOY do the Yankees suck.
And Jeter licks A-Rod. Or something gay like that.
16 Comments:
This journal entry is inaccurate.
Holy shit, emkat's still alive.
The liver is an amazingly resilient organ, isn't it?
I THINK YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH THE YANKEES AND JETERS COCK. WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO ADMIT YOU WANT AROD TO FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU?
GET A LIFE LOSER!
Dear internet:
If you type in all caps, everyone ignores what you said because you sound crazy.
Sincerely,
The rest of us
You're actually wrong about this, but I forgive you.
Oh, and the Yankees didn't have a staff 'ace' at the beginning of last year, either.
Additionally, Robinson Cano is going to hit 30 home runs, Posada and A-Rod are in contract years, Matsui is healthy again, and Sheffield was useless last year.
I can say dumb shit, too, though, if that's the game you choose to play: The Red Sox still don't have a bullpen.
Say what you will about the goddamned Yankees, they won't be contending in the AL East Race For Second Place. As usual.
The Red Sox still don't have a bullpen.
At least they took a step in the right direction by puting Hansen down to Pawtucket!! Yay! (for now)
Let's take a look, shall we?
Red Sox bullpen
J. Papelbon (Closer)
J. Romero
M. Timlin
B. Donnelly
H. Okajima
J. Piñeiro
J. Lester
Yankees bullpen
M. Rivera (Closer)
K. Farnsworth
M. Myers
L. Vizcaíno
S. Henn
S. Proctor
C. Bean
Is there some message I should be taking away from those lists, other than both teams have shitty bullpens?
Excuse me, I meant 'other than both teams have potentially (very very) shitty bullpens.'
Go Angels!
Is there some message I should be taking away from those lists, other than both teams have shitty bullpens?
Nope. Draw your own conclusions.
And by that, I mean "lick my balls."
WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO ADMIT YOU WANT AROD TO FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU?
When are you going to admit that, Brendo?
WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO ADMIT YOU WANT AROD TO FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU?
When are you going to admit that, Brendo?
When the world is properly medicated.
Just an FYI, I'm perfectly comfortable with the rebuilding phase the Yankees are going through right now. Anytime your team can stockpile good, young prospects by trading away older guys, you just have to sit back and be a little patient. And winning the AL East EVERY SINGLE SEASON NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS IN MARCH while rebuilding is also very nice.
Fortunately they'll also have a huge amount of financial flexibility to play with in the off-season.
Just an FYI
This has become one of my biggest pet peeves. It doesn't make sense. FYI=For Your Information. You wouldn't say "Just an For Your Information", would you? No.
It's plain and simple. FYI, blah blah blah. That's all you need.
This has become one of my biggest pet peeves. It doesn't make sense. FYI=For Your Information. You wouldn't say "Just an For Your Information", would you? No.
Somebody alert Sting about "sending out an Save Our Souls."
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