Time for a quick facial hair update - as I put in the necessary growing time to have a semi-decent moustache for our 2007 Scamper Moustache Show at Hennessy's in the Fanuiel Hall area with Aloud, Rooftop Suicide Club and The Sterns, my beard has officially passed through the "older brother on Party of Five" phase and entered into its "George Michael in a rest stop men's room" period. For those of you feeling lucky, I expect the true scraggle of a homeless gentleman to appear somewhere around Wednesday of next week, so place your wagers accordingly.

Now, many of you have been asking my about my conspicuous silence regarding the return of Roger Clemens to the Yankees. While most of my burning soulhatred for that chunky cow-humper magically expelled from my body somewhere around September 2004, he still wrinkles my cumberbund a bit. I mean, the guy is a dick.

But even I've got to admit that the way they announced his return? Totally bad ass. Instead of holding a press conference for a bunch of Cheeto dust-covered reporters, they brought the announcement directly to the people at Yankee Stadium. While the Red Sox fan in my cringed, the pro wrestling fan in me "marked out." If the Sox want to compete, they're going to have to bring in either Pedro Martinez with a bionic arm or Lex Luger.

I love this game.