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Thursday, August 02, 2007
Okay, so here's the deal: you all know what a fan I am of the show Celebrity Fit Club. The smiling expertise of Dr. Ian. The warm sexy support of whichever hot-ass psychotherapist they bring on. And of course, the gruff motivational style of Harvey Walden IV. Let's face it - it's a formula that works. Look at Bruce Villanch. He looks terrific!

I want to take advantage of this formula and drop a few pounds. Now, obviously I am not quite famous enough to be on the TV show. Plus, the show usually features celebrities well past their prime and Scamper's reign as Boston's local rock heroes is still soaring.

But there's no reason I can't use the Celebrity Fit Club model to lose weight. So I went out and bought the Dr. Ian Extreme Fat Smash Diet book. As for the therapist part, let's just say I've got it covered. But what I need is a Harvey.

That's where you assholes come in.

Every Thursday for the month of August, I'm going to do a morning weigh-in with you all. I'll give you an update on how I'm doing with my eating and exercise program. Your job will be to motivate me with constant positive reinforcement and call me on my bullshit when I'm copping out. Think you can handle that, my little drill sergeants?

Okay, let's begin.

Beginning weight, August 2: 215 lbs.
Target weight for August 30: 199 lbs.

Sixteen pounds in four weeks. Pretty ambitious, I know. I don't know if I can do it. What say you, Harveys?

EDIT: in my zeal, I realized that losing 16 lbs in 4 weeks probably isn't the healthiest thing in the world, but I do want to get under 200. So I'm already pussing out and giving myself a few more weeks.

NEW target weight for September 20: 199 lbs.

Sixteen pounds in seven weeks isn't so bad. Anyway, fuck you guys.

13 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

16 lbs in a month is kind of crazy, dude.

August 02, 2007 10:18 AM  
Blogger Brendan said...

Hmmm... you're probably right. I do want to get under 200 though, even if it's just for an hour.

Maybe I should give myself more time?

August 02, 2007 10:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is going well.

August 02, 2007 10:29 AM  
Blogger Brendan said...

This is going well.

Sometimes I get a little overzealous and don't think things through all the way.

Remember that time I spent $45,000 on domain names? I still don't know what to do with www.mygrandmothershotfriendsmother.com.

August 02, 2007 10:32 AM  
Anonymous Willie Ames said...

Easy a fishwich.

30 mins of light cardio in the a.m. before work. Everyday.

-Huge healthy bfast
-Huge healthy lunch
-Late afternoon protein bar
30 mins weights/30 mins cardio at night 4-5 times per week
-No dinner.
-Tons of water, NO booze, and plenty of Longshot syncronized jumps.

Pounds melt away.

August 02, 2007 10:41 AM  
Anonymous Richard Simmons said...

Dropping weight dramatically is bad for your heart, impossible to maintain, never works, and does not instill the fundamental changes necessary to maintain drastic weight loss. All in all, bad idea.

August 02, 2007 10:58 AM  
Blogger Brendan said...

Dropping weight dramatically is bad for your heart, impossible to maintain, never works, and does not instill the fundamental changes necessary to maintain drastic weight loss. All in all, bad idea.

Agreed. I am using a healthy model where I'm actually eating MORE than I usually do. It's just a matter of switching out unhealthy foods with healthy ones.

I have done this before. I lost about 60 pounds in about 6 months and have kept it off for over 2 years now.

This time, I'm just taking advantage of a slight break in my schedule to drop a few and cut out the junk.

My birthday does fall in August, though. We'll see how that goes.

Watching someone fail is part of the fun of Celebrity Fit Club though, isn't it?

August 02, 2007 11:08 AM  
Anonymous nicole richie said...

the easiest way is just don't eat... like, at all.

ballerina girl is about me.

August 02, 2007 11:09 AM  
Blogger Henry said...

There's always this method.

August 02, 2007 11:16 AM  
Blogger Pedro said...

Here's what's waiting for you if you drop to sub-200 by 9/20.

August 02, 2007 11:49 AM  
Blogger Brendan said...

See? Pedro knows how to fucking MOTIVATE!

August 02, 2007 11:51 AM  
Anonymous Vin said...

See? Pedro knows how to fucking MOTIVATE!

Wait, that comes with those now? I had no idea.

August 02, 2007 12:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

16 lbs over 7 weeks is 2.28 lbs a week. That's not too extreme.

August 02, 2007 1:05 PM  

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