I realized this morning that I never gave you greedy maws any closure on my whole weight loss endeavor. So let's wrap this ill-conceived trainwreck up in a nice pink bow, shall weeeeeee?

This morning, I weighed in at a slim, trim 210 lbs. I feel absolutely fantastic. I'm sleeping better and my muscles have that healthy "just worked out" ache going. And let's not even get into how fantastic the guns look. Two shining pipes of oily power. Bada bing.

Now, the target weight that I set for myself back in August for today's date was 199 lbs. Viewed just on that criteria, this whole experiment could be viewed as a collosal, embarrasing failure. But here's the thing: I had dropped roughly 10 lbs in the weeks leading up to this "Fit Club" experiment, so my total weight loss for July through September was around 15 lbs. Not too shabby.

Plus, I'm actually at the lowest weight of my adult life. When I joined Scamper, I weighed 285 lbs. Hard to imagine? Check this shit out from my very first Scamper show in September 2004:

There are two lessons in this, the first of which is that I like to talk about how awesome I am. But more importantly, it shows that it is possible for you to make major changes in your health and your life. It's an intimidating task. Also, a lot of annoying skinny people will give you advice. They mean well, but they don't really get how hard it is, how it's not just a matter of eating better and exercising. Doi! Why doesn't the alcoholic just stop drinking?

The thing I really like about Celebrity Fit Club is that beneath the rubbernecking and pity for Dustin Diamond factor, there's a real message of hope. Changing your health can have drastic effects on your life. It's not just about being attractive, but improving your sleep patterns, your mood, and your general attitude about life. I have never been happier than I have in the last few years and having good physical health is a big part of that.

So take it from a former fat ass that struggles daily with the seductive allure of General Gao's chicken - it's worth every drop of sweat. No matter what your condition, you can start slow and make progress. Forget the scale for now. Forget the goals and the diets and the skinny marathon-running assholes all around you. Just walk around the block today. And tomorrow, do a little more than you did yesterday.

Trust me - you'll be amazed at what you can do.