On the traffic-congested roads of our fair berg, I try to be an innovator of rage.
For me, it's not just enough to express my anger at another driver's or pedestrian's bonehead maneuver. I must use my superior intellect and driving savvy to educate them of their vehicular wrongdoings. Every time I get cut off in traffic is an opportunity to inform someone else that they are, in fact, wrong wrong wrong.
I never use the middle finger or swear at someone. Not only is it cliche and expected, but it doesn't serve any purpose whatsoever. What do you do when someone flips you off on the road? Assume they're an asshole, right? For me, I usually respond by laughing hysterically and either waving or blowing kisses.
On the city streets during the summer, it's actually quite easy to yell things at people. Drivers have their windows down and the stop-and-go nature of the sad sack urban planning around here usually means the person you just cut off is likely going to sit right next to you for the next five to ten minutes. Flipping someone the bird or swearing in this situation is wholly uneffective without an escape route. You might as well be playing 18 holes of golf with a guy after punching him in the nuts.
Whenever the opportunity presents itself, I like to calmly but loudly point out what they did wrong. More than one Boston city driver has heard a few caterwaulings from an irate indie rocker in a Saturn, such as "Actually, I have the right of way there, sir!" and "You're not following the rules of the road!" If I'm really ubermiffed, I'll say "You're a bad driver!"
As a rule, people are very confused by this and not sure how to respond. I'm not casting aspersions on their character, as is de rigeur on the streets of our angry city. People are always prepared to defend their personality quirks. But their driving skills are subpar and they must be made aware of this deficiency!
Most of the time, there's no time for an actual exchange of ideas, so I have devised the most elegant solution: the thumbs down. It works in almost every driving situation. If someone does the "nice" thing by letting someone take a left in front of them thus having the decidedly "not nice" effect of three people behind them missing a green light, they get a stern thumbs down.
The thumbs down works best because of its simplicity. It can be seen from any angle, including the rear view mirror, making it perfect for communicating your feelings about the dillhead that just cut you off. And it can be interpreted in several ways, from "I don't approve of your recent driving gambit" to "You as a human are worthy of a stranger's scorn."
Thumbs down fever. Catch it!
For me, it's not just enough to express my anger at another driver's or pedestrian's bonehead maneuver. I must use my superior intellect and driving savvy to educate them of their vehicular wrongdoings. Every time I get cut off in traffic is an opportunity to inform someone else that they are, in fact, wrong wrong wrong.
I never use the middle finger or swear at someone. Not only is it cliche and expected, but it doesn't serve any purpose whatsoever. What do you do when someone flips you off on the road? Assume they're an asshole, right? For me, I usually respond by laughing hysterically and either waving or blowing kisses.
On the city streets during the summer, it's actually quite easy to yell things at people. Drivers have their windows down and the stop-and-go nature of the sad sack urban planning around here usually means the person you just cut off is likely going to sit right next to you for the next five to ten minutes. Flipping someone the bird or swearing in this situation is wholly uneffective without an escape route. You might as well be playing 18 holes of golf with a guy after punching him in the nuts.
Whenever the opportunity presents itself, I like to calmly but loudly point out what they did wrong. More than one Boston city driver has heard a few caterwaulings from an irate indie rocker in a Saturn, such as "Actually, I have the right of way there, sir!" and "You're not following the rules of the road!" If I'm really ubermiffed, I'll say "You're a bad driver!"
As a rule, people are very confused by this and not sure how to respond. I'm not casting aspersions on their character, as is de rigeur on the streets of our angry city. People are always prepared to defend their personality quirks. But their driving skills are subpar and they must be made aware of this deficiency!
Most of the time, there's no time for an actual exchange of ideas, so I have devised the most elegant solution: the thumbs down. It works in almost every driving situation. If someone does the "nice" thing by letting someone take a left in front of them thus having the decidedly "not nice" effect of three people behind them missing a green light, they get a stern thumbs down.
The thumbs down works best because of its simplicity. It can be seen from any angle, including the rear view mirror, making it perfect for communicating your feelings about the dillhead that just cut you off. And it can be interpreted in several ways, from "I don't approve of your recent driving gambit" to "You as a human are worthy of a stranger's scorn."
Thumbs down fever. Catch it!
2 Comments:
The worst drivers I have ever witnessed are in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Way worse than New York, LA or Boston. They are the least courteous drivers, they drive like maniacs and motorcycles are everywhere doing whatever they want. It might be different if they enforced their traffic laws even a little bit. They should try the thumbs down as long as it doesn't have a different meaning there.
While I'm at it, thumbs up for Tony!
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