This weekend, my good friend Trashy Trixie decided to host a "Sitcom Thanksgiving" in which she invited a bunch of her friends to her new place for delicious turkey, succulent fixings, and guaranteed hijinx. Not to do anything halfway, 12-Gauge decided that there was one thing essential to every sitcom Thanksgiving: a laugh track.
In his typical obsessive manner, 12-Gauge spent hours seeking out the perfect laugh and applause mp3 clips. When he found just the right tone, we practiced my wacky neighbor entrance a few times:
Brendan (entering): Did somebody say turkey? (applause) Wait - who brought the dog? (laughter)
It was perfect.
When we got to the house, Trixie and the other guests were understandably perplexed as to why we arrived lugging not only the promised key lime pie, but also a laptop with bulky sound system. We were mum as to our intentions. As was our plan, I left the house to make a beer run, giving 12-Gauge enough time to set up the audio for my entrance. Or so I thought...
I returned from the packie and burst into the kitchen. "Did somebody say turkey?"
Silence. Everyone's faces betrayed confused expressions, except for 12-Gauge's. He was punching on the laptop, downright panicky. I tried again, "Wait - who brought the dog?"
Nothing. It was, in a word, awkward. I was just left out there to wilt in the studio light glare like so much sub-par Schneider.
Luckily, 12-Gauge got the applause track working for all the other guests' entrances. They all got the Fonzie treatment while I was left to realize my character clearly wasn't popular enough to make it to the second season. Midway through the dinner, I was sadly replaced at the table by a black sass-talking toddler.
In his typical obsessive manner, 12-Gauge spent hours seeking out the perfect laugh and applause mp3 clips. When he found just the right tone, we practiced my wacky neighbor entrance a few times:
Brendan (entering): Did somebody say turkey? (applause) Wait - who brought the dog? (laughter)
It was perfect.
When we got to the house, Trixie and the other guests were understandably perplexed as to why we arrived lugging not only the promised key lime pie, but also a laptop with bulky sound system. We were mum as to our intentions. As was our plan, I left the house to make a beer run, giving 12-Gauge enough time to set up the audio for my entrance. Or so I thought...
I returned from the packie and burst into the kitchen. "Did somebody say turkey?"
Silence. Everyone's faces betrayed confused expressions, except for 12-Gauge's. He was punching on the laptop, downright panicky. I tried again, "Wait - who brought the dog?"
Nothing. It was, in a word, awkward. I was just left out there to wilt in the studio light glare like so much sub-par Schneider.
Luckily, 12-Gauge got the applause track working for all the other guests' entrances. They all got the Fonzie treatment while I was left to realize my character clearly wasn't popular enough to make it to the second season. Midway through the dinner, I was sadly replaced at the table by a black sass-talking toddler.
6 Comments:
You should hire yourselves out to other family gatherings in need of a studio audience.
Seriously.
Yeah, if you could bring this out to Valley Falls, NY on Thursday, I'd be much obliged.
Yeah, if you could bring this out to Valley Falls, NY on Thursday, I'd be much obliged.
Mom: Nate, can you pass the pecan pie?
Nate: Oh no you di'int!
[Laughter with one guy going "woooooo!", which morphs into thunderous applause.]
Subsititute "Uncle Denny" in for "Mom" (who's in Florida) and you've got it down pat.
yeaaaaaah upstate! madd props to wynantskill on your way up there (it's where my cousins live). enjoy.
Subsititute "Uncle Denny" in for "Mom" (who's in Florida) and you've got it down pat.
Aunt Pat
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