Since the blockbuster announcement of Scamper's Last Waltz on February 2, 2008, Scamper HQ has been deluged with your cards and letters, begging for more information. Here's a list of Frequently Asked Questions:
Q: You're aware that calling this show the "Last Waltz" makes you look like giant dicks, right?
A: Totally. Still, we think it's funny, so we're going to stick with it.
Q: Why isn't [INSERT BAND HERE] playing with you? They're so much better than those jerks in Aloud, Harris, and Baker.
A: Ok, so I can't dispute the logic that certain members of the bands Aloud, Harris, and Baker are, in fact, "jerks." Except Henry. He's really more of a "douchebag" than a "jerk."
But seriously, picking bands to share the stage with us on our final night was not an easy decision. Over the years, we've played with a lot of great bands comprised of many great human beings in this town and elsewhere. Still, we couldn't think of three bands that have meant more to us as fellow musicians and friends than the aforementioned gaggle of jerks.
Q: Are you purposely having this show on Groundhog Day so that you have to keep reliving it over and over again and Scamper never really ends because you can only move on when you get it right and you'll never get it right because you suck?
A: Remember the part where Keith let the groundhog drive his car? That was awesome.
Q: Why do you think Pepa of Salt N' Pepa got that ridiculous-looking nose job? It's not like we didn't just see her a few months ago on The Surreal Life Fame Games with her real nose. What - we're not going to notice?
A: Agreed. Pepa looked a lot better with her original nose.
Q: February is a long way away. Will you advertise and send us constant, annoying reminders that the show is coming up?
A: Nope. This is the last we're going to mention it.
Q: You're aware that calling this show the "Last Waltz" makes you look like giant dicks, right?
A: Totally. Still, we think it's funny, so we're going to stick with it.
Q: Why isn't [INSERT BAND HERE] playing with you? They're so much better than those jerks in Aloud, Harris, and Baker.
A: Ok, so I can't dispute the logic that certain members of the bands Aloud, Harris, and Baker are, in fact, "jerks." Except Henry. He's really more of a "douchebag" than a "jerk."
But seriously, picking bands to share the stage with us on our final night was not an easy decision. Over the years, we've played with a lot of great bands comprised of many great human beings in this town and elsewhere. Still, we couldn't think of three bands that have meant more to us as fellow musicians and friends than the aforementioned gaggle of jerks.
Q: Are you purposely having this show on Groundhog Day so that you have to keep reliving it over and over again and Scamper never really ends because you can only move on when you get it right and you'll never get it right because you suck?
A: Remember the part where Keith let the groundhog drive his car? That was awesome.
Q: Why do you think Pepa of Salt N' Pepa got that ridiculous-looking nose job? It's not like we didn't just see her a few months ago on The Surreal Life Fame Games with her real nose. What - we're not going to notice?
A: Agreed. Pepa looked a lot better with her original nose.
Q: February is a long way away. Will you advertise and send us constant, annoying reminders that the show is coming up?
A: Nope. This is the last we're going to mention it.
11 Comments:
a lot of great bands comprised of many great human beings
WRONG! The parts comprise the whole -- great human beings can *comprise* a great band -- but not the other way around. Please rewrite this draft.
The bands don't comprise the human beings. The bands are comprised OF the human beings. I put that "of" in there to express just such an idea.
I'm afraid you're missing the point, young fella. Here's an example: "Great buildings comprise a livable city" is grammatically correct. "A livable city is comprised of great buildings." is incorrect. Parts must come before the whole, or you must use a different verb.
I just want to come out and say that the above grammatical jerk is NOT ME. I would take full credit for that intensely awesome douchebaggery.
Whatever... go for it.
Most dictionaries (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/comprise and http://m-w.com/dictionary/comprise) allow for Boogie's usage although they note that it's idiomatic. Get over it, seriously big jerk!
From merriam-webster:
"usage: Although it has been in use since the late 18th century, sense 3 is still attacked as wrong. Why it has been singled out is not clear, but until comparatively recent times it was found chiefly in scientific or technical writing rather than belles lettres. Our current evidence shows a slight shift in usage: sense 3 is somewhat more frequent in recent literary use than the earlier senses. You should be aware, however, that if you use sense 3 you may be subject to criticism for doing so, and you may want to choose a safer synonym such as compose or make up."
Douchebaggery. Brilliant.
This is indeed a fine piece of douchebaggery. I'm glad to be a part of it.
At least I sparked some damn dialog on the Brendoweb! Yay Big Jerk!
At least I sparked some damn dialog on the Brendoweb! Yay Big Jerk!
I consider "dialogue" the preferred spelling, but otherwise well done!
Isn't that just the cherry on top -- I hammer you on an obscure grammar point then misspell a sixth-grade vocabulary word. My douchebaggery is set in stone!
And here I am, commenting on the MySpace page like a sucker!
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