Ugh. I woke up this morning with a frog perched firmly in my throat. Actually, it wasn't so much a frog as this fella. Yup. My upper respiratory system has been commandeered by a devil toad. Except more mucousy. Not as much fun as it sounds.

In other news, I sadly missed the big premiere of the new Knight Rider television program this weekend. However, I am receiving multiple reports from my crack staff of TV watching minions about the premiere: it's a big fat turd.

This isn't a big surprise, obviously. I think most of us Knight Rider fans from back in the dizzy were secretly hoping for "really awesome" but realized catching Hasselhoff in a bottle twice wasn't all that likely. Really, we would have been pleased with "so bad that it's actually good." Early bulletins say that it's just bad. Too serious, too adult, not fun to watch. Boo.

But just for the record - my childhood is just fine. All of these craptastic remakes of my childhood favorites (Knight Rider, Transformers, The Dukes of Hazzard, Star Wars) have ZERO effect on how I view the memories of a more innocent time. There's nothing sadder than 30-year old men with beards expressing genuine anger at Jerry Bruckheimer. Not a good look.

George Lucas didn't rape your childhood, nerds. He raped your mom. (Lawyer's note: Brendan's just kidding. We think.)