And... my bracket has already been mathematically eliminated. I knew I shouldn't have picked ITT Tech to beat University of Phoenix in the finals. Curse this loyalty to my "tv/vcr repair" major!

Well, friends - I've done all the pimping I can do. I've offered you a terrific show featuring former daytime drama actors, underaged powerpop prodigies, and egomaniacal douchebags. The ball is now in your court. You must show up to O'Brien's tomorrow night at 9pm, drink many beers, and enjoy a night of radio-friendly pop rock music.

I know it's going to be tough on you. But Jesus died today or something. The least you can do to honor his memory is witness my drummer's likely jager-induced obliteration.