It's time for my fearless 2008 baseball predictions. Ladies, start your wagering. We'll start with the National League, about which I know next to nothing except that I think the pitcher batting is totally fruity.
NL East: New York Mets. I'm going to keep picking them to be good until they finally win. Then, I'm going with another pick. How edgy of me!
NL Central: Chicago Cubs. The Cubs spent roughly the GNP of Canada in the off season. If they don't win the division, we may have to question this whole "capitalism" thing.
NL West: Arizona Diamondbacks. Really? Do I have to pick a crap-ass winner of this crap-ass division?
NL Wildcard: Milwaukee Brewers. They're young, they're hungry, and they're named after beer. Go Brewers!
Now, on to some real DH-ridden steroid-lovin' baseball.
AL East: Boston Red Sox. I'm predicting monstrous years for Dice-K, Julio Lugo and (yes) J.D. Drew.
AL Central: Detroit Tigers. See Chicago Cubs re: capitalism. My perennial Cleveland pick finally came through last year, so I'm dropping them like a prom date with morals.
AL West: Seattle Mariners. This could actually be a tough division with the M's battling it out with the Angels. Still, I think the Wild Card is going to come out of the one true powerhouse division in baseball...
AL Wild Card: New York Yankees. Our resident Yankee fan Vinny Shit on the Face says they're in a "rebuilding year" and will probably miss the playoffs. He's so entirely full of feces on just about every level that I am forced by the power of logic to pick the Yankees to have a good year. Of course, winning the wild card wouldn't be considered a "good year" for these twisted Yankee fan sociopaths. Christ, I hate them.
World Series pick: I will go with the Cubs over the Tigers.
There you have it. Set your calendar for October to tell me how awesome I am.
NL East: New York Mets. I'm going to keep picking them to be good until they finally win. Then, I'm going with another pick. How edgy of me!
NL Central: Chicago Cubs. The Cubs spent roughly the GNP of Canada in the off season. If they don't win the division, we may have to question this whole "capitalism" thing.
NL West: Arizona Diamondbacks. Really? Do I have to pick a crap-ass winner of this crap-ass division?
NL Wildcard: Milwaukee Brewers. They're young, they're hungry, and they're named after beer. Go Brewers!
Now, on to some real DH-ridden steroid-lovin' baseball.
AL East: Boston Red Sox. I'm predicting monstrous years for Dice-K, Julio Lugo and (yes) J.D. Drew.
AL Central: Detroit Tigers. See Chicago Cubs re: capitalism. My perennial Cleveland pick finally came through last year, so I'm dropping them like a prom date with morals.
AL West: Seattle Mariners. This could actually be a tough division with the M's battling it out with the Angels. Still, I think the Wild Card is going to come out of the one true powerhouse division in baseball...
AL Wild Card: New York Yankees. Our resident Yankee fan Vinny Shit on the Face says they're in a "rebuilding year" and will probably miss the playoffs. He's so entirely full of feces on just about every level that I am forced by the power of logic to pick the Yankees to have a good year. Of course, winning the wild card wouldn't be considered a "good year" for these twisted Yankee fan sociopaths. Christ, I hate them.
World Series pick: I will go with the Cubs over the Tigers.
There you have it. Set your calendar for October to tell me how awesome I am.
3 Comments:
Dice-K is mediocre this year. Book it. And thank you for totally dissembling my views on the Yankees' 110% unproven rotation. Unlike some people who have journals on this URL, I'm not so ready to get excited about a totally unknown quantity with an insanely limited track record of success who believes white people invented AIDS to keep Africa from becoming paradise on Earth(I'm looking at you, Ian Kennedy). Na-na-ni-boo-boo.
He sure disproved that "twisted Yankee fan sociopath," didn't he folks?
In Ian Kennedy's defense, his grandmother doesn't trust Asians.
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