4.11.08
Ok, I'm going to say it - I don't really care about the Sox-Yankees series this weekend. In fact, I'm not sure I care about the Sox-Yankees rivalry that much at all anymore.
Granted, I am MUCH happier to have lightened the load of hate I was carrying in my stomach for those pin-striped lucifers. Whereas a mere 4-5 years ago I was wishing death on Derek Jeter's unborn children, I actually have no feeling whatsoever toward the guy now. Good player, seems like a classy guy. Whatever - I've got my own problems.
Don't get me wrong - I still enjoy watching the Sox and Yankees play. But now, it's just for the baseball. There's no psychic baggage I carry with me. It has nothing to do with my childhood anymore. It's just a baseball game.
There was a time when I would work my schedule around baseball, just so I could know in my heart that I saw every pitch of every game when "the year" finally happened. This year, I had to be reminded the season had actually started by my dad. And he's 73! He remembers nothing!
Our resident evil Yankee fan Vinny Shit on the Face summed it up best:
"I just saw an 'I Don't Brake For Yankee Fans' bumper sticker and it made me sad and nostalgic. The rivalry has lost its vigor. It's like Exxon vs. Texaco now. Who cares?"
4.10.08
Anyone want to tell me what happened in the last few innings of the Sox game last night? And, in fact, anything that happened post-10pm in the past, say, nine months?
At what point exactly did I turn into my grandfather? I get home and hop in the ol' recliner to watch some baseball and next thing I know it's Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... Granted, earlier in the evening I chased a fifth of warm Ovaltine with an Ambien/horse tranquilizer cocktail. But still! Still, I say!
I'm a (relatively) young man in the prime of my life. What's with the Nap Monster coming to get me so much, huh?
4.9.08
People will often come to me for karaoke advice. This is understandable, as I do currently hold a Master's Degree and third degree black belt in the karaoke arts. So I figured it was time to give you some basics on how to be the best karaokist you can be.
First off, karaoke success has nothing to do with how good a singer you happen to be. It's all about two words: song selection. The key is that you want to pick a song that most everyone knows, but hasn't heard in a long time. Ideally, the crowd reaction for your song should be an audible "Oh, yeah! I LOVE this song!" Everyone's enthusiasm for singing along with you will outweigh any of your vocal shortcomings.
Basically, don't go for a big hit that everyone hears all the time, such as Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'." A good song (of course), but WAY overplayed, especially since its excellent use in The Sopranos finale. However - and I cannot emphasize this enough - you should not be afraid of singing a Journey song. "Separate Ways," "Wheel in the Sky," "Faithfully," hell, even a little solo Steve Perry "Oh, Sherry" works. Personally, I celebrate the band's entire catalog.
Of course, there are the obvious songs that no one on Earth wants to hear you sing, the most egregious of which are "Paradise By The Dashboard Light" and "Summer Lovin'" from Grease. These are to be avoided at all costs. If one of these titles appears on the screen behind you, you deserve the audible groan you get from the audience. Only jerks sing those songs. Don't be a jerk.
Here’s a new one in that category: "Total Eclipse of the Heart" with the swears in it like in Old School. Yes, it was funny... in that movie. You doing it? Not so much. You might as well get up there and do the "Wazzuuuuuup?" beer commercial thing while wearing a trucker cap with "I Have No Original Ideas" emblazoned across the front.
In short, you really can't go wrong with anything by Wham! Any questions?
4.8.08
The jerkfaces over at Sports Illustrated totally cribbed my Cubs-Tigers World Series predictions. Of course, since they're the professional prognosticators, it probably means my instincts are way off, so I'm going to go ahead and revise my pick to a World Series comprised of a surprising Detroit Red Wings squad taking on a reunited Fleetwood Mac.
Today is the Red Sox home opener and I hope none of you are at work to read this. There's something special about the first time the local nine takes the field at historic Fenway Park every year. It's an almost mystical throwback to a time that’s both ancient and ageless. It's like we get to step into eternity. It's truly magical.
Oh, and we get to get blotzed on $7 Millers, swear in front of children, and throw batteries at Gary Sheffield. That guy's a dick. BAL-CO! BAL-CO! BAL-CO!
EDIT: I forgot to add - good luck to our buddy Johnny and his band Dirt Mall at the BCN Rumble preliminaries tonight. Remember - third place is the BEST place.
4.7.08
The sun is out, the Red Sox are getting swept in Toronto - it's starting to feel downright springy around here, isn't it friends? I can't wait to pull out my pink polyester culottes and tote around town all fancy-like.
I know, I know - you folks have been eagerly anticipating our big O'Brien's show with Harris, Aloud, and Jen Murdza on Thursday April 24. But did you know that Harris is at O'Brien's every single Thursday this month? From what I hear (I was busy having my colon notarized), the first show was a kick-ass rocker full of sold-out awesomeness. The next few Thursdays are no exception, leading up to our sort of "Scamper's Last Waltz Reunion" with Jen Murdza playing the role of Baker.
I've said it before and I'll say it again - for my money, there's no better band in Boston than Harris. They're fantastic live and you should take this opportunity to see them weekly in a small venue. So do that.
DO IT!!!!!
Ok, I'm going to say it - I don't really care about the Sox-Yankees series this weekend. In fact, I'm not sure I care about the Sox-Yankees rivalry that much at all anymore.
Granted, I am MUCH happier to have lightened the load of hate I was carrying in my stomach for those pin-striped lucifers. Whereas a mere 4-5 years ago I was wishing death on Derek Jeter's unborn children, I actually have no feeling whatsoever toward the guy now. Good player, seems like a classy guy. Whatever - I've got my own problems.
Don't get me wrong - I still enjoy watching the Sox and Yankees play. But now, it's just for the baseball. There's no psychic baggage I carry with me. It has nothing to do with my childhood anymore. It's just a baseball game.
There was a time when I would work my schedule around baseball, just so I could know in my heart that I saw every pitch of every game when "the year" finally happened. This year, I had to be reminded the season had actually started by my dad. And he's 73! He remembers nothing!
Our resident evil Yankee fan Vinny Shit on the Face summed it up best:
"I just saw an 'I Don't Brake For Yankee Fans' bumper sticker and it made me sad and nostalgic. The rivalry has lost its vigor. It's like Exxon vs. Texaco now. Who cares?"
4.10.08
Anyone want to tell me what happened in the last few innings of the Sox game last night? And, in fact, anything that happened post-10pm in the past, say, nine months?
At what point exactly did I turn into my grandfather? I get home and hop in the ol' recliner to watch some baseball and next thing I know it's Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... Granted, earlier in the evening I chased a fifth of warm Ovaltine with an Ambien/horse tranquilizer cocktail. But still! Still, I say!
I'm a (relatively) young man in the prime of my life. What's with the Nap Monster coming to get me so much, huh?
4.9.08
People will often come to me for karaoke advice. This is understandable, as I do currently hold a Master's Degree and third degree black belt in the karaoke arts. So I figured it was time to give you some basics on how to be the best karaokist you can be.
First off, karaoke success has nothing to do with how good a singer you happen to be. It's all about two words: song selection. The key is that you want to pick a song that most everyone knows, but hasn't heard in a long time. Ideally, the crowd reaction for your song should be an audible "Oh, yeah! I LOVE this song!" Everyone's enthusiasm for singing along with you will outweigh any of your vocal shortcomings.
Basically, don't go for a big hit that everyone hears all the time, such as Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'." A good song (of course), but WAY overplayed, especially since its excellent use in The Sopranos finale. However - and I cannot emphasize this enough - you should not be afraid of singing a Journey song. "Separate Ways," "Wheel in the Sky," "Faithfully," hell, even a little solo Steve Perry "Oh, Sherry" works. Personally, I celebrate the band's entire catalog.
Of course, there are the obvious songs that no one on Earth wants to hear you sing, the most egregious of which are "Paradise By The Dashboard Light" and "Summer Lovin'" from Grease. These are to be avoided at all costs. If one of these titles appears on the screen behind you, you deserve the audible groan you get from the audience. Only jerks sing those songs. Don't be a jerk.
Here’s a new one in that category: "Total Eclipse of the Heart" with the swears in it like in Old School. Yes, it was funny... in that movie. You doing it? Not so much. You might as well get up there and do the "Wazzuuuuuup?" beer commercial thing while wearing a trucker cap with "I Have No Original Ideas" emblazoned across the front.
In short, you really can't go wrong with anything by Wham! Any questions?
4.8.08
The jerkfaces over at Sports Illustrated totally cribbed my Cubs-Tigers World Series predictions. Of course, since they're the professional prognosticators, it probably means my instincts are way off, so I'm going to go ahead and revise my pick to a World Series comprised of a surprising Detroit Red Wings squad taking on a reunited Fleetwood Mac.
Today is the Red Sox home opener and I hope none of you are at work to read this. There's something special about the first time the local nine takes the field at historic Fenway Park every year. It's an almost mystical throwback to a time that’s both ancient and ageless. It's like we get to step into eternity. It's truly magical.
Oh, and we get to get blotzed on $7 Millers, swear in front of children, and throw batteries at Gary Sheffield. That guy's a dick. BAL-CO! BAL-CO! BAL-CO!
EDIT: I forgot to add - good luck to our buddy Johnny and his band Dirt Mall at the BCN Rumble preliminaries tonight. Remember - third place is the BEST place.
4.7.08
The sun is out, the Red Sox are getting swept in Toronto - it's starting to feel downright springy around here, isn't it friends? I can't wait to pull out my pink polyester culottes and tote around town all fancy-like.
I know, I know - you folks have been eagerly anticipating our big O'Brien's show with Harris, Aloud, and Jen Murdza on Thursday April 24. But did you know that Harris is at O'Brien's every single Thursday this month? From what I hear (I was busy having my colon notarized), the first show was a kick-ass rocker full of sold-out awesomeness. The next few Thursdays are no exception, leading up to our sort of "Scamper's Last Waltz Reunion" with Jen Murdza playing the role of Baker.
I've said it before and I'll say it again - for my money, there's no better band in Boston than Harris. They're fantastic live and you should take this opportunity to see them weekly in a small venue. So do that.
DO IT!!!!!
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